


whoever fights monsters

by nowweareunstoppable



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Blood and Gore, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Ghost Drifting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, The Drift (Pacific Rim), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-08 16:08:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11085150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowweareunstoppable/pseuds/nowweareunstoppable
Summary: During the rise of the Jaeger program, on the cusp of its golden heyday, two Trainee pilots are given one last shot at their own redemption.'There is nothing left on this base for you besides each other.'





	1. Chapter 1

The door to Commander Matthew Zordon’s office was imposing, and Kim felt herself falter as she approached it. She knew what was coming; there was no other plausible reason for her being called here. 

Kim caught the collar of her jumpsuit and squeezed the material tightly in her fist. This program had been her life for the past two years. To give it up at this point sent a curl of horror slowly unfurling in her gut. 

She wasn’t giving it up though; it was being forcibly taken from her. Kim wanted to rant and wail and plead her case and how it wasn’t fair, but she couldn’t do any of that. Because kicking her out of the program would be entirely justified. 

“Trainee Hart, get in here! I can hear you pacing through the door.”

Kim flinched but obediently stepped forward and entered the room. Zordon sat behind his desk with his arms lightly folded in front of him. His high, proud brows were arched at her; admonishing her hesitance. Sitting in front of him, though, was a surprise.

The insignia printed on the back of the stranger’s jumpsuit named her as another Trainee, but not one from Kim’s Rotation. She had her back firmly set against Kim, but her shoulders threatened to curl in on themselves and as Kim rounded her own chair and sat beside her she could tell that the girl was nervous. Kim wasn’t the only one getting kicked out of the program today, it seemed.

Kim glanced at the girl, trying to catch her eye, but she just stared straight ahead at a spot on the wall above Zordon’s head. Her hair was dark and longer than Kim’s and it was braided tightly on one side. She was pretty. The thought floated absurdly through Kim’s head and it broke her out of her musings and made her attention snap back to her Commander.

“Trainee Hart, Trainee Kwan, do you two know why you’re here?”

Kwan? She didn’t look much like a Kwan. Must be a family name. Kim latched onto her curiosity about the other girl like it was the last piece of driftwood in the sinking mess that was about to be her life. If she let herself feel the panic, she was going to break down and that was _not_ happening in front of anyone, least of all the Base Commander.

“Yes sir,” Kwan said. Her voice was softer and higher than Kim expected but it had a bit of a rasp in its undertones that spoke to something more than just a pretty face.

“Well then?” Zordon asked, still impassive.

What an asshole. He was really going to make them say it? Kim wouldn’t do it. Even though she deserved it, hadn’t Kim proved again and again that she was selfish? She wasn’t going to give it up until Zordon pried it from her fucking hands.

Kwan on the other hand seemed apathetic, and it was only the slight tremble in her answer that told Kim that she was absolutely terrified, too.

“I assume you’re going to tell me that I’m no longer a contender in the Jaeger Pilot Trainee Program,” the girl said and then dropped a shoulder in Kim’s direction, “Don’t know about her, though.”

Kim pulled her lips back in a snarl before she could stop herself. She wasn’t mad at the other girl. Or even Zordon, really. This made sense, after all. She was just feeling the panic of a trapped animal with no way out of a situation that should have been avoided in the first place.

“Hart?”

Fuck him. She wasn’t going to. 

“I’m one of the most promising Trainees you have, sir. I have the test scores, the combat ratings, the Drift aptitude numbers. I want to be a pilot. I’ve been working towards it for years.”

This ignited something in Zordon, and he slammed his hand down onto his desk so hard that both girls jumped, “Then why does your Rotation refuse to work with you?” He roared, “Why have you so alienated your fellows that all your promise and aptitude means _nothing_?”

He stood and Kim tensed, her face flaming with embarrassment. Zordon planted his hands on his desk and leaned into them, “You think I relish having to bring in two very capable soldiers and tell them that despite all the time, money, and work that this program has put into them, they are unable to do the very task that is expected of them?”

“I can Drift, sir!” Kim pleaded, trying valiantly to keep her chin high and her shoulders square.

“That means nothing if nobody will Drift with you!” He bellowed.

Kim’s head hit the back of her seat. The meaning behind his words, rather than the force he expelled them with drained the fight out of her. Cowed, she dropped her head.

“Sir…” The other girl’s voice prodded at the thick silence. She trailed away as though she didn’t know what to say once everyone’s attention was on her.

“And you,” Zordon’s gaze shifted and Kim winced in sympathy for what was coming but Zordon just shook his head. That gesture seemed to wound the girl more than words ever could have though because she wilted and turned so pale that Kim actually willingly tried to turn Zordon’s attention away from Kwan and back to her.

“Why are you doing this? Just tell us to leave. Dragging this out is cruel.” Kim felt tears on the horizon and she pressed her lips together to try and quell them.

Zordon’s eyes flickered at the blatant disrespect but there was something else in them, too. An acknowledgement, but of what, Kim didn’t know.

“The Trainees in my base become pilots. My program’s failure rate is less than five percent. Angel Base has turned out more highly rated pilots than any other base on the Coast.” Zordon sat back down and drummed the fingers of his left hand slowly onto his desk.

The other girl had her head cocked, listening intently and Kim felt the same way. A tiny slip of hope flared up before Kim could help it. They both waited, breath held.

“One chance, Trainees. You get one more chance,” he said, and Kim couldn’t stop an exultant whoop from sneaking out as Kwan collapsed back against her seat, limp with relief.

“I’ve gone over your scores and they indicate that you two may be candidates for compatibility. You become partners, and make your time, effort, and training worth it, or you will be asked to leave the program. There is nothing left on this base for you besides each other. This is your last opportunity; it’s up to you if you use it.”

Kim sucked in a breath, adrenaline rushing up, and turned to look at the person on whom all of her future rested. If she refused her, like everyone else, Kim would be ruined. She was already facing her, and Kim finally met her eyes for the first time. They were steel, determined and entirely unreadable. Kim wondered what she saw in her.

They held eye contact, Kim waiting on a knife’s edge, before Kwan nodded once. Kim crushed her grin before it could surface and returned the gesture. It was a promise; she would do better this time. 

Zordon cleared his throat, “It seems as though this is agreeable to you both. J-Chief LOCCENT Officer Alphonse is going to oversee this venture. He will be in touch.”

Kim knew a dismissal when she heard one and she bounced out of her seat before he could change his mind. The other Trainee, her potential partner- Jesus how long has it been since that phrase floated through her mind- was right on her heels.

They spilled out of the office and into the empty hallway, Kim practically vibrating with exaltation. The other girl’s face was still blank, and she looked back over her shoulder warily as they put some distance between themselves and Zordon’s office.

Kim spun and walked backwards so she could introduce herself, “My name’s Kimberly Hart, but you can call me Kim.” She offered a hand and Kwan took it and gave her a short solid squeeze.

“Trini Kwan.”

Kim let herself smile this time. Her insides felt like a ball of manic anxiety, because there was a lot Trini didn’t know about her, but she couldn’t help feeling slightly joyous. Walking into that office had been a sort of death sentence, and right now Kim felt like she’d escaped the reaper by the skin of her teeth. 

Trini dragged a hand down her face and mumbled, “Zack is going to shit his pants when he hears this.”

Kim started to ask but Trini seemed to remember where she was and interrupted her, “I lied. I do know who you are and I do know why you were in that office today.”

Kim’s guts bottomed out. She opened her mouth but… of course Trini knew. Kim was silly to even entertain the thought that she didn’t. There was no reason for her to hope for her transgressions to stay sealed within her own Rotation, and this proved that they hadn’t.

She tried to swallow but it got caught in her suddenly dry throat, “Why did you agree to be my partner then?”

Trini scuffed the ground with the toe of her Base-issued boot, “I don’t know. I shouldn’t have. It doesn’t matter anyway; it’s only prolonging the inevitable in my case.”

“What do you mean? Why were you even in there in the first place; what did you do?

“Nothing. That’s my problem,” Trini looked up at her and Kim saw shame reflected at her from a crack in Trini’s unruffled façade, “I can’t Drift.”

Kim reeled backwards in surprise. That was… unexpected. Drifting was tricky, that much was true, but to make it this far in the program without a successful simulated Drift was almost unheard of. 

Trini must’ve been able to guess her thoughts because she hastily pulled her walls back into place and tilted her chin up at Kim. Defiance flickered in her eyes and instead of rising to Trini’s unspoken challenge, Kim just gave her a little nod, like the one Trini offered her back in the office.

This was their challenge then. A girl who nobody wanted to Drift with trying to connect with someone who couldn’t Drift at all. Okay, Kim nodded. Okay. Zordon’s words echoed back at her. _There is nothing left on this base for you besides each other._ They would just have to figure it out, then.

“Well, we’ll just have to jump that hurdle when we get to it. For now, let’s go.”

“Go where?” Trini asked.

“The Kwoon Room of course. Everyone else is at dinner so it should be free. We have to see if Zordon crunched his numbers correctly.”

“I’m telling you all of this is pointless, but...” Trini smiled, the first one Kim had seen from her. It was uneven, pulling up on the right side more than the left with a hint of a sharp canine, and Kim liked it. “But, I like the Kwoon Room.” 

A little shiver of anticipation worked its way down Kim’s spine.

Ten minutes later found them circling barefoot on the mats, feeling each other out. Trini was almost laughable tiny, especially once she shrugged out of the arms of her baggy jumpsuit and tied them around her waist instead. Nobody would ever call Kim tall either, but even so she easily had about five inches on Trini.

It didn’t really matter. Trini charged her the second Kim’s focus wavered and Kim nearly got bowled over before she was able to twist out of her path. Trini swung at her again, aggressive and quick, and Kim felt distinctly like a matador as she dipped and spun to avoid it.

Kim knew Trini was going to launch forward again, and caught her by the heel with her staff when she did, flipping her neatly onto her back.

“Gotcha,” Kim crowed, pointing the staff at her chest.

Trini’s face held the beginnings of a flush and she hopped back onto her feet without hesitation, “Lucky guess.”

Kim darted forward first this time, forcing Trini to actually defend instead of just barging into her space and for a few moments they just traded blows, staff to staff. Their weapons caught and locked and Kim used her height as leverage to bear down. Quick as a whip, Trini went limp, using Kim’s force to propel herself sideways into a roll. Kim stumbled forwards, off balance from the sudden loss of her opposition and by the time she righted herself, Trini’s staff was pointed at her temple. 

“Gotcha,” she mocked, but her face was a reflection of Kim’s own smile.

They crashed together again, but this time they were collaborating instead of testing the waters. Kim could feel herself falling into sync with Trini and the familiar tug of compatibility was impossible to resist. Trini must have felt it too because she easily met Kim’s next blows and turned them aside to offer her own. 

Kim spun away, leading Trini on a dance-like chase before ducking back in to score the next hit. Trini landed two more after that, and then they stopped keeping track.

Sparring with someone who didn’t fit was stressful or unfulfilling depending on the skill level of the other person. When you couldn’t find that harmonious chord, the fight became as unpredictable as a car crash. When what was supposed to be an ebb and flow turned into one Trainee muscling another one around, or one submitting completely to the other, the Kwoon Master would call off the match. 

Nobody would have had to call off Kim and Trini’s fight. God, Kim loved finding that one-in-a-hundred person. It was like sliding into a rhythm that didn’t exist except for the two of them together. 

She’d felt it only once before, when she and Amanda had met for the first time in the Kwoon Room. Their spar went a lot differently; they both had sharp streaks of ruthlessness that lead to slamming each other roughly into the mats. They fought dirty and hard, but what was important was that they fought _together_. The connection was there and Kim hadn’t realized just how much she missed it until now.

She saw Trini’s next swing coming but didn’t move to block it. Instead she dropped her own staff and ducked underneath Trini’s to drive herself forward into Trini’s abdomen. They fell in a flailing pile of limbs and when Trini squirmed her way to the top and shoved her forearm up underneath Kim’s chin, Kim couldn’t help but laugh in delight. 

Trini rolled her eyes and let pressure off of Kim’s throat, “God, you’re weird, you know that?”

Kim wrapped her legs around Trini’s waist and flipped them hard, Trini’s breath rushing out with an ‘oof.’ “Don’t act all superior! You felt that too!”

Kim let Trini shove her off and she fell onto her side, still facing Trini, who rolled her eyes again, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You don’t even know me.”

Kim ignored her, “I know your name, and now I know my ‘weird’ brain waves are compatible with yours,” she wiggled her fingers in Trini’s face for emphasis and got them swatted away for her trouble. “That’s enough for a start.”

Kim sobered a little bit. Despite what she’d just said, it was true, she didn’t know Trini and Trini didn’t know her. Sure, maybe she would spar with Kim, but that didn’t mean she was going to trust her inside of her head. Hell, Kim wasn’t sure she’d trust herself if she was in Trini’s position.

She flopped onto her back, mirroring Trini, and they lay together for a few minutes, each contemplating their own internal musings while they caught their breath.

After a while, Kim felt inclined to break the silence, “So, who’s Zack?”

Trini roll her head to look at her, “Huh?”

“You mentioned him earlier, when you were talking to yourself in the hallway,” Kim reminded.

“Oh,” Trini’s face darkened and she looked back up at the ceiling. “Zack’s my friend. He was in my Rotation. We were supposed to be partners. We passed all the tests, were compatible and everything but…” Trini sighed. “But, I couldn’t Drift and he couldn’t wait. Then he found Jason.”

Kim felt her eyes bug out, “Wait, are you talking about Zack _Taylor_? One of Ranger Triton’s pilots?”

Trini snorted, “Jesus, don’t ever make that face in front of him, his head’s going to get so big it’ll explode.”

Kim hummed, thoughtful. “Jason Scott and Billy Cranston were in the Rotation a year ahead of mine. Do you know them, too?”

“A little, but only in passing. Zack doesn’t have much time to spend with me anymore.” She said it without blame, but Kim scowled. What kind of so-called friend was he if he didn’t have time for someone he almost piloted with?

“Stop,” Trini poked her arm.

“Stop what?”

“Stop thinking badly of him. Giga Strike is close to retirement and Ranger Triton has been picking up a lot of slack for them. His responsibilities are slightly more important than keeping up with his failure of an ex-partner.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Kim said. She pushed herself up on one arm and Trini mirrored her movement. “You aren’t a failure. We have to do this, Trini.”

Trini tensed in frustration, “I know we have to! But ‘have to do this’ and ‘can do this’ are two completely unrelated things!”

“Ladies!” A voice interrupted. Kim and Trini scrambled to their feet, argument forgotten for the moment, and faced the newcomer. 

“Hello Alphonse,” Kim greeted with a little bow of her head. Trini mumbled her own greeting and Alphonse cheerily returned it. 

“Good evening and please, call me Alpha! I hope that your session was a positive one. Commander Zordon sent me to give you these,” He held up two new key cards on lanyards.

“Uh, what are those?” Trini asked. 

“The keys to your new bunk!”

Kim could see Trini stiffen, “What’s wrong with my old room?”

“We’re getting in a new crop of Trainees soon and the single rooms need to be freed up. The Commander thinks that rooming together will help you connect and there is an open double bunk in the pilot wing.”

Kim didn’t see anything wrong with this, she had no particular attachment to her closet sized bunk in her Rotation’s hallway- in fact living shoulder to shoulder with her peers there was pretty miserable nowadays.

Trini, however was rigid and nearly trembling with an emotion Kim couldn’t pinpoint. She snatched one of the lanyards out of Alpha’s hand and stalked out of the Kwoon Room without another word.

Alpha adjusted his round glasses, the man was small and eccentric but always exceedingly kind, and said, “Ah, I apologize. I wasn’t expecting that reaction. I hope I didn’t affect your potential bond.”

“Uh, no worries. I’m not sure what’s up with her. Thank you for coming to give these to us!” Kim took her own card and ran off in the direction Trini went, offering Alpha a wave of affirmation when he called out, “I’ll check in with you two on Monday!”

She caught up to Trini just as she was jamming her card into the door of their new bunk. Trini ducked inside without holding the door and Kim huffed as she barely caught it before it shut. The bunk consisted of a small kitchen with a table and a couch in front of a small television off to the right. To the left of the kitchen was a short hallway with a bathroom and the door to their room, where Trini had made a beeline to.

“Goddamnit!” She heard Trini curse, and Kim hustled into their room to see what was wrong.

The other girl was standing over the bed on the left, where it looked like Base Staff had dropped off her clothes and the rest of her belongings. Kim’s duffle was on the bed on the right and her family photos had been put on the small night table that was settled between the beds. There was a single frame among the bunch that Kim didn’t recognize and it was that that seemed to be attracting Trini’s fury. She caught a glimpse of a few smiling faces, a man and woman and three smaller figures, before Trini moved to block her view.

Except, when Trini snatched the photo up and shoved it under the bed, her expression wasn’t one of anger. She was pale, and once the photo was stowed away, she sat down on the floor and pulled her hands down her face. Her fingers were trembling and Kim hovered in the doorway, uncertain if she should go to her or if it would just make whatever was happening worse.

“Trin-”

“Just go away. Please.” 

Kim nodded, not that Trini was watching, and gently closed the door behind her as she backed out. Kim walked back through the kitchen into the living room and ran her hand through her hair. The day had exhausted her, both physically and mentally and she was ready for it to be over. Kim curled up on the couch and hugged one of the slightly dusty pillows to her chest. 

A whirlwind of thoughts bombarded her and despite her efforts to shove them away, it wasn’t enough to keep some from sneaking past. What was up with that picture, and what did Trini mean when she said she couldn’t Drift? She didn’t know Trini, that’s what Trini herself had said and it was true. She didn’t know a goddamn thing about this girl that her future was resting so precariously on. 

She’d gotten a second chance, but Zordon gave it knowing that it was a long shot. Kim was willing to try, of course she was, but it was very possible that trying wasn’t going to be enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trini carved herself out a spot in the Shatterdome the same way she’d wormed her way into the Base back when she was only seventeen years old. She just sort of acted like she was supposed to be there and nobody ever took the time to question her.

When the fin dipped up out of the water, it was slow and graceful in a way that struck an odd, dissonant chord in Trini. She was crouched on the rough gravel of the beach and everything was grey and still. The ocean laid like glass, opaque and stationary as stone.

Except for the gentle slip of the fin that sent ripples lapping up onto the rocks.

Trini was terrified because she knew what was about to happen, but her dream self just perched motionless and let the rippled water wet the toes of her converse as the fin grew and grew. Her heart scrambled a frantic beat and her lungs were heaving but in that place, her body was calm and her breaths were even. She was trapped; trapped inside this person that would not move or run or call out to warn anyone. She just waited with fingers dug lightly into the rocks.

The fin lengthened into a long elegant neck and a shark-like snout. The Kaiju was lean and whippy and pointed. The ripples turned into waves as it clawed its way up out of the water and started prowling towards the beach. Whitecaps began slamming into Trini, merciless and disturbed from the effort it took to birth a monster out of the depths. No matter how hard Trini struggled and howled, her body didn’t move or make a sound. Water forced its way into her nose and mouth, retreating only to crash back over and over again. 

She was drowning on dry land and she _couldn’t move_.

With a choking gasp, Trini wrenched herself out of sleep and over the side of her bed. She landed hard on her hands and knees, disoriented and still shuddering from the taste of saltwater forcing its way down her throat.

“Fuck, fuck, motherfucker,” Trini rose up on her knees and tried to turn her bedside lamp on but her hand just dropped through open air where it should have been in yet another jarring sensation. Wait, this wasn’t her room, what was-

Oh yeah. The events of the previous day snapped back into focus and Trini jerked her head to Kim’s side of the room, excuses for her behavior already flooding her mouth, but nobody was there. Trini sank back down onto her haunches with a sigh of relief, but the position reminded her too much of her dream and she was on her feet before she knew it. A glance at the small LED clock on her (Kim’s- their?) bedside table told her it was a little after four in the morning.

There was no way in hell she was getting back to sleep, she never did after one of those, so she padded out of the room into the hallway, idly wondering where Kim had gone. It was only when she came around the corner of the kitchen and saw the other girl curled on her side in a loose comma on the couch that Trini remembered sending her out of the room last night. Guilt washed over her like the waves in her dream.

Trini’s face was hidden when she told Kim to leave, but the quiet way Kim had shut the door and apparently thought she wasn’t supposed to come back in at all made Trini feel like the shittiest person in the Base.

But guilt was more familiar to her than her own face nowadays (how long has it been since she’s looked herself in the eyes), so she just tucked it away tightly against her chest and went to fetch the blanket off Kim’s bed. 

Trini tucked it carefully around Kim’s shoulders and feet and pulled a lock of hair free from where it was stuck in the corner of her lips. Trini rolled her eyes when Kim shifted a little in her sleep and promptly shoved her left foot back outside the covers. Difficult even when she was unconscious.

Remorse slightly soothed, Trini took a moment to study the person that’d been dropped so suddenly into her life. Her skin was only a shade lighter than Trini’s own but her dark hair was cut choppily just past her chin. Her cheekbones, jawline and nose were all sharp and her fingers were long and thin and clutching at a tiny pillow that must’ve come with the couch.

Trini thought of how it felt to move with her in the Kwoon Room yesterday and a small touch of affection bloomed alongside the memory. It was nice to feel connected to someone again, even if it wasn’t going to last.

It was an odd sensation though, to feel such a primal link to someone that was nearly a perfect stranger. Not quite, though. Trini slipped through the Base like a ghost most days, and most people walked by her like she wasn’t there. Talked by her like she wasn’t there, too.

Bitch of the Base, that’s what the young Rotations called Kimberly Hart. Trini heard a multitude of whisperings, some outrageous some not, but from all the bullshit there was some truth that could be distilled. 

Kim ruined her last Drift partner. Amanda Clarke dropped out of the program because she couldn’t bear to let anyone else inside her head after Kim was finished.

Trini didn’t know the details and if she’d heard them among all the rumors it was impossible to know which were real and unembellished. But besides all that, all the shit she’d heard from other people, Trini had a few real experiences under her belt with Kim now.

She knew that Kim stood up for her in Zordon’s office. She knew what her cry of salvation sounded like when she was given a second chance, and that she talked with her hands when she was keyed up about something. Trini saw how her body moved and the way her muscles tensed right before she flipped Trini onto her back. She heard, even as she was storming out of the room, Kim being kind to Alpha and apologizing on her behalf.

Kim hadn’t really been acting like the Bitch of the Base. But then again… Trini didn’t know her. And she wasn’t going to because this whole pie in the sky second chance scheme wasn’t going to get off the ground. She wasn’t sure who she felt more sorry for, Kim or herself.

She gave Kim one last look and gave herself a few precious seconds to think what if, then turned and ducked out of the room. 

Her hair was sort of gross because neither she nor Kim had showered last night after their spar session so she quickly tugged it into a loose braid down her back before pushing off into an easy jog. Trini never used to be a runner but despite the Base being the size of a small town, its metal walls and lack of decent sized windows got to be stifling sometimes and running helped her shake the claustrophobia.

Her feet took her to the place they always did, where she always wanted to be. The Angel Base Shatterdome was impressive, to say the least. They were the primary training Base on the West Coast and once Trainees graduated into pilots and got assigned to a Jaeger they were shipped out all over the world. Not just pilots, either. The K-Science department, as well as Mechanics and Engineering all had intensive internship and residency programs that pumped out new brilliant minds every year. So the base, and by extent the Shatterdome, was usually a bustling, cacophonic hub, but this early in the morning there was only a skeleton crew manning the hangers. 

Trini carved herself out a spot in the Shatterdome the same way she’d wormed her way into the Base back when she was only seventeen years old; she just sort of acted like she was supposed to be there and nobody ever had the time to question her. The crews all recognized her now and a few of the night shift mechanics nodded to her as she jogged by.

Two years ago, after the dust of her town settled and the roads were cleared and the dead buried, Trini hitchhiked her way down lonely highways until she reached the Base. Her ride dropped her on the side of the road and she watched as the sun burned away the mist and continued to rise over a golden Jaeger powering through the waves in one of its morning training sessions. 

Her mom never wanted her to be a soldier and for once, Trini had been in agreement. But afterwards, the Base called to her and she found herself as helpless as a moth throwing itself into a flame. She’d been reluctant, but now that she was there the sight of the goliath had her tumbling forward into a desperate sprint, running to embrace the only deliverance she had left.

Trini slept in a supply closet and skulked around the Shatterdome for a week before someone noticed her (so much for military security- the Base really was a city in and of itself, more than big enough for her to disappear in), and even then it was just a Jaeger mechanic who had her start fetching tools and running messages to the engineers and mathematicians upstairs.

Her feet kept pounding the pockmarked cement floor of the hangars and she let her thoughts slip backwards into the day she’d been truly discovered.

“Year one Trainees are not to be in this room without supervision,” barked Diana, the Master of the Kwoon Room. Trini was so startled that she dropped the staff she’d been awkwardly twirling directly onto her big toe.

She swallowed the curse that threatened to yelp out and held her hands up in a placating gesture, “Sorry! Sorry, I just wanted to practice.”

Diana swept past her without seeming to register her apology and said, “Let me see your badge, Trainee...”

“Kwan,” Trini supplied, even as her heartbeat tripled its speed, “I uh, don’t have it with me.”

Diana narrowed her eyes and stalked back up to Trini. She nearly six feet tall and Trini felt like a toddler under the shadow of the dignified, muscled woman. 

“Your badge is to be kept on you at all times. How did you even get into this room, not to mention this wing, without it?”

Trini definitely didn’t want to tell her that she’d waited for over an hour for someone to leave the main wing hallway so that she could dart in before the door closed, and another twenty minutes before the last student left the Kwoon Room so she could do the same. Instead she just went still and silent and stared resolutely at the wall behind Diana.

Her mind as sharp as her physical prowess, Diana immediately saw what nobody else on the Base had. “You are not a Trainee, are you?” 

Trini flinched but the bite had faded out of Diana’s voice in favor of incredulous curiosity, and the older woman started to circle her and tug at the ill-fitting jumpsuit Trini had swiped out of the laundry room. 

“Jaeger Mechanic? Special Systems Engineer? No, too young. K-Science Department? Research and Dev Intern?”  
Trini didn’t reply. She should have lied, said something – _anything_ , but she hadn’t truly talked to anyone in weeks and it was as though her vocal cords had forgotten how to vibrate. So, choking on her own failures, she closed her eyes and waited.

Diana was astonished, “Nothing? You are a _civilian_? Who knows you are here?”

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I want to be a pilot.”

Trini tried to keep her chin high but Diana’s eyes flashed and she said, “A lot of people want to be pilots. They apply to the program, undergo rigorous testing before they even set foot in the Base.”

Her eyes snapped onto Diana’s. She felt a familiar panic flare up and quashed it down, “I need to do this.”

“But can you?” Diana challenged. She strode forward and grabbed a staff off the rack and used her toe to flip Trini’s up from the ground into her hand. She offered it to her and Trini grabbed it like a drowning man latching onto a raft.

“Wha-”

She didn’t have time to finish before Diana became a blur. Trini barely managed to get her staff up on pure instinct before Diana’s strike slammed into it, rattling her down to her bones. Trini scrambled backwards and resisted the urge to shake the painful shockwaves out of her hands. No time for that, not with Diana streaking towards her again.

Trini swung her staff up to block again, but was fooled by the feint. The base of Diana’s staff plowed into her stomach. Trini dropped to the mat with a thump that was louder than she thought her admittedly small body could produce and tried to remember how to breathe.

Somehow, even over her overwhelming instinct to lie there until she wasn’t suffocating, Trini knew that staying down wasn’t an option. Still gaping like a fish, Trini lurched back onto her feet and hefted her staff in front of her. Diana’s eyebrow quirked but the respite didn’t last and Trini was knocked onto her back before she even registered Diana was moving. Christ, Trini was so out of her league that Diana may have well been a god. 

Again, Trini got up. This time, she opted to swing first, seeing as defense wasn’t exactly working out for her. Diana swatted her sloppy attack away like it was an afterthought and continued the arc of her strike to clock Trini in the back of her head. She only dropped to one knee this time before staggering up, but Diana didn’t give her another chance to attack.

Trini lost count of how many times she hit the floor but this was obviously some sort of test and it wasn’t one she could afford to fail. Sweat dripped steadily into her eyes and she was pretty sure her lungs had been replaced with hot coals a few rounds ago, but she kept getting up. She had to.

Her head must’ve taken one too many hits because the next time Diana swung at her face, Trini abandoned her staff and all of her common sense and launched herself headfirst into Diana’s stomach.

It was probably more surprise than Trini’s momentum that actually bowled Diana over. Hell, Trini herself was so astonished at Diana hitting the floor underneath her that she literally had no idea what to do next. Even if she had, Diana was so fast that the next instant found Trini with her face pressed into the mat and her arm twisted behind her back with Diana’s knee digging confidently into her spine.

Trini thought she finally died or was at least most of the way there because there no way that Diana was _laughing_. Not a malicious laugh either, it was an actual genuine chuckle.

The weight between her shoulder blades disappeared and Trini felt herself being scooped up by her armpits and set back onto her feet. She looked blearily up at Diana and confirmed that yes, she was smiling, and no Trini wasn’t dead. Yet. She still couldn’t really breathe but whatever.

“Little Warrior after all, huh? You _do_ want to be a pilot.” Trini wanted to bristle at the moniker but she didn’t have the energy and besides, Diana actually sounded sort of… affectionate? So she just nodded instead.

Diana nodded back and for the first time in weeks, Trini felt something other than pain and guilt and numbness. 

Back in the Shatterdome, Trini shook herself out of the memory with a wry smile. Diana had taken a shine to her and pulled god knows how many strings to get Trini a chance at the program. The rest was up to Trini, and she didn’t hesitate to grasp the lifeline. She studied hard to pass the entry exams and trained every day, sometimes with Diana but more often on her own, to catch up to the level of the next incoming Rotation.

That was two years ago. She’d been hopeful then, but that was before her true incompetence rose to the surface and yanked all her plans out from underneath her. 

Like an echo from the past, a voice rang out across the Shatterdome, “See Billy? She’s fine, I told you man!”

Trini perked up and tilted her head, trying to pinpoint where the noise was coming from. But in the next second it was obvious; where else would Zack be but Ranger Triton’s hangar?

Hesitation dogged her footsteps and she paused, unsure if she could handle the energy of the boys right now. But, remembering her first weeks on the Base had flared up the loneliness that always seemed to settle at the base of her spine and suddenly the warmth of Zack seemed like something she desperately needed. 

The dopey smile that slid over her face on sight of Ranger Triton was impossible to suppress. Trini fiercely loved the Jaegers and the odd frame of Ranger was her favorite out of all of them. The Jaeger looked ungainly in the hangar, but that was only because the boys weren’t inside to light it up and bring it to life. 

Ranger was taller and appeared slightly bulkier than standard Jaegers because of the extra pair of arms settled neatly below its primary set. It was a unique prototype; the only one of its make because even after the success of its pilots, it was decided that the triple neural-handshake and a three-layered Pons interface structure was too involved and not worth the trouble of development and training for future lines.

Zack, Jason, and Billy didn’t care; they were incredibly proud to be one (three) of a kind, and their unfettered love for their oddball of a Jaeger was infectious. Trini gazed up at the machine and felt pride flash up in her at the bold red and blue plating overlying the black cables and joints. Ranger’s head was fashioned with three points that rested like a crown over the Conn-Pod.

Trini’s smile only grew when Jason caught sight of her and lightly touched Zack’s forearm to alert him. Zack’s whoop was so loud that it made Billy jump and Trini barely had time to brace herself before she was swept up into his arms.

Yes, this was exactly what she needed. Trini clutched the back of his t-shirt in her fists and squeezed him back just as tightly. Zack, because he was her best friend and he _knew_ her, let her hold on for a few beats longer than was normal.

“You’re up early, Crazy Girl,” Zack said when he finally put her down. His grin was loose and crooked and like always, Trini felt conflicting affection and regret waver when she looked at him.

“I could say the same for you guys,” Trini said while accepting a nod from Jason and a light fist bump from Billy.

“Billy had a dream,” Jason offered. He looked like he was still three quarters asleep and his usually immaculate hair was flat on one side and sticking up on the other. He quickly realized what she was smirking at and flushed when his fingers brushed against his bedhead.

“It’s fine Jay, you look like a model 24/7,” Zack drawled with an easy fondness, “Don’t even worry about it.”

Trini shuffled her feet, always half uncomfortable around Jason even though he’d never been anything but kind towards her. Thankfully, Billy steamrolled right over her awkwardness like he didn’t even realize it was there- well actually he probably didn’t. Billy’s presence was always easier for Trini to swallow somehow. Partly because Billy was Billy and it was really hard not to like him. 

“I had a dream that one of the nerve fiber cables in her shoulder was fraying and that the mechanic missed it-”

“Even though Julio is the best mechanic ever and would never ever miss anything,” Zack interrupted but Billy, used to it, just continued over him.

“And I thought that we should check it out because you never know when the Breach is going to activate, well actually the equations are getting pretty accurate but anyway, what if I waited until morning to check and we got called out before morning? That would obviously be irresponsible and unacceptable. They didn’t have to come with, though,” Billy jerked a thumb back at his co-pilots as Trini nodded along and tried to follow his stream of consciousness style of speaking.

“Well it’s really hard to stay asleep when you get elbowed in the face,” Jason grumbled.

“I apologized for that! Plus, it was Zack’s fault, he was in the way and I was trying to climb over him.”

“Anywayyyyy, we can all see Ranger is fine!” Zack redirected. “And since everyone is awake and Trini has also decided to grace us with her presence, we should grab an early breakfast!”

“Is that the only reason you came with? Because you were hungry?”

Trini couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at how grumpy Jason was. This was a side that the TV crews and morning show hosts didn’t get to see. Jason Scott, Hometown Hero and Pilot Extraordinaire was not a morning person and it was pretty funny.

Trini already felt better than she had when she woke up but even so, “Sorry Zack, I can’t. Kim’s going to be up soon and she’s going to wonder where I went.” It was mostly true, but in reality Trini could never stand to spend extended periods of time with all three boys when they were together. 

The selfish ache inside of her flared up and burned with abandon when she watched them bicker and laugh and wrestle with each other. Because it should have been her. It was supposed to be her and Zack against the world. Instead, Trini was on her own while Zack was out slaying monsters. It just made it worse that Jason and Billy were so wonderful. She should be happy that Zack made it despite his little hiccup with her, but Trini was never able to completely uproot the jealousy.

Zack’s jaw dropped. “Who the fuck is Kim?”

Oh, right. 

“Uhhh, so you know how I told you that I was probably going to get kicked out of the program and you said ‘They could never kick you out you beautiful angry gremlin’ and then I punched you in the ear?”

Zack’s eyes lit up, “Yeah? Yeah!”

Trini rolled her eyes, “Yeah. Zordon gave me one last chance. He basically said ‘Make it work or hit the road.’ Matched me up with that girl Kimberly Hart from 6th Rotation.”

“Bitch of the Base,” Jason murmured to himself in recognition. 

Her muscles tensed and Trini was surprised at the strength of the instinct to defend Kim that flared up, but she did her best to shove it away. She could never trust that her emotions were reasonable around Jason. He always made everything in her head too loud. 

He did that to Zack, too, but in a way that worked for them. Jason and Zack were Drift compatible in the way that a spark and some gasoline were Drift compatible. Trini wasn’t around much when they first found each other, she couldn’t stand to be, but from what she remembered they nearly hadn’t made it even then. They played off of each other’s hype too well; in the simulators they tended to destroy not only the Kaiju but the surrounding town as well. Half the time their Jaeger wasn’t salvageable by the end, either.

Billy was a tempering presence. By the time Jason dug him up from somewhere deep in the J-Engineering department, the team that was Zack&Jason was about to be classified as a gamble that wasn’t worth taking and Billy was sorely needed. Last chances seemed to be a running theme at Angel Base.

Trini actually had been there for that. They’d snagged her out of the Kwoon Room and made her stand lookout while Billy reconfigured one of the simulators for the triple neural handshake. After awhile Trini started watching the screens instead of the door and she found that she couldn’t tear herself away. Observing the Drift, even through altering lens of a computer adaptation, was beautiful and the three twining lines of the boys’ minds was the closest thing to poetry in motion that she’d ever seen. 

Billy’s presence brought Zack and Jason’s lines down when they started to spike, like a steady heartbeat. Zack tugged Billy along in his wake, making sure he didn’t fall behind and Jason was finally able to find solid footing to step up onto. When they ended the simulation and tumbled out of the Drift in a tangle of elbows and knees and hollers of elation and rapture, they didn’t notice Trini slipping out of the room like the ghost she wished she was. 

“Are you two even compatible?” Billy asked and jarred Trini forward out of the past.

Remembering the way Kim felt on top of her in the Kwoon Room yesterday Trini couldn’t help but give a wry smile. Zack picked up on it with a too-loud laugh and slapped Jason on the back in a genuine display of happiness on her behalf. Trini thought again about how she should be glad that Zack found new co-pilots because he truly was too good for her. 

“It’s going to work this time, Trini. I know it,” Zack declared with such authenticity that Trini almost let herself believe him.

Instead she waved him away and started back in the direction of her and Kim’s new bunk.

“Yeah, yeah. I gotta go now. Have a good day, guys. Kick some Kaiju ass for me if you get the chance.”

“Bye Trini,” Billy called and Jason waved at her over his shoulder while sleepily knuckling at his eye.

“You’ll be right here by our side soon enough!” Zack called to her as she turned the corner. She pretended she didn’t hear him.

Trini chose to mull over what to make for breakfast instead of trying to sort out the tangle of feelings she always got around the three pilots as she walked back. 

Kim was still asleep on the couch when Trini opened the door and Trini had to resist the rather creepy urge to stand and watch her for awhile. She just wanted to know more. Trini wasn’t compatible with most people and Kim didn’t really remind her of Zack at all, so she wondered what it was that was drawing her in.

The sleeping girl sighed and Trini smiled before she realized it. When she did, she scoffed at herself and quietly moved into the kitchen to start cooking them breakfast. She didn’t really know what Kim liked so she figured she’d make a little bit of whatever was stocked in the fridge.

After a few minutes the smells of bacon and eggs or the clang of pans and the toaster must’ve woken Kim up. Trini was stretched up on her tiptoes to try and reach two glasses to put down beside their plates when a long arm snaked past her and easily lifted them down. Trini whirled, startled, but relaxed when she realized it was just Kim.

“Uh, thanks.”

Kim shrugged, “No problem. Did you make us breakfast?”

Trini slowly looked down at the two plates full of food and then back up to Kim. She only had to lift one of her eyebrows before she had Kim grumbling, “Alright, dumb question, shut up.”

“A simple thank you would suffice,” Trini said. She filled up both their glasses with milk after a nod from Kim and then carried her plate over to the table.

“ _Thank you_. Although, I’d probably just call us even since you banished me to the couch on our first ever night together,” Kim said as she sat down across from Trini. It was obviously a joke, Kim trying to make light of the situation, but Trini could tell from her shifting eyes that Kim was unsure about bringing it up.

Trini sighed and ran her hand over her braid, “Yeah, sorry about that. I didn’t really expect that you would stay out here all night.”

Kim shrugged, “You looked pretty upset. I didn’t want to push it. But just so you know for the future, I am a great cuddler. Very comforting.”

Trini snapped her head up in time to see Kim hide a smile behind faux-sincere eyes and she tossed a bit of bacon at her. “You are _such_ a weirdo.”

Kim dropped her innocent act and waggled her eyebrows at Trini, who found a laugh bubbling up in answer. It felt weird, and awkward, and… good. 

Huh. This whole thing had the potential to be much more painful than Trini first imagined. She didn’t think she would actually like Kim. She had made a mistake in agreeing to Zordon’s second chance scheme and she fully knew it, but it all suddenly felt more real and close than it had yesterday. She needed to be a pilot so bad that she’d set herself up to deal with the anguish all over again without even taking a second to think about it.

Trini honestly wasn’t sure if she could make it through losing another partner and watching Kim laugh at her across their breakfasts sent a whorl of dread spinning up inside of her. Trini had fucked up big time. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Diana may or may not be Wonder Woman. It's up to you. 
> 
> This chapter had like no Kim in it at all, so sorry about that, but I really wanted to introduce the boys (did y'all guess the triple pilot thing? I couldn't leave Billy out!) and dig into Trini's mindset a little bit. Next chap is all Kim though, don't even worry 'bout it.
> 
> I haven't exactly seen Pacific Rim in awhile so if there are any glaring mistakes or things that don't make sense please don't hesitate to bring it up! I have a tumblr -- nowweareunstoppable.tumblr.com if you want to talk there.
> 
> ALSO thank you so much for the response on the first chapter, all your comments definitely made me write faster and this chapter would have been out two days ago if I hadn't been on a trip. I'd fist bump you all if I could. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim missed Drifting, truthfully. The fall however, if things went bad… Kim wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Though, how hypocritical to even let that thought surface because Kim hadn’t just fallen, she’d pushed the person who was supposed to be her other half off the metaphorical cliff first.

Kim eyed the door to the Kwoon Room warily as they approached.

“Why does the Fightmaster have to be here?”

Trini shrugged and said, “Dunno. Because Alpha said so?” But there was a bounce to her stride that betrayed the flat apathy that usually colored her tone. 

Kim was discovering that when Trini seemed to be indifferent about something, it was usually just a cover. As for breaking through that cover and figuring out what she was actually feeling, Kim wasn’t quite there yet. It’d been almost a week since that day in Zordon’s office but Kim hadn’t made much progress in chipping away Trini’s walls. The other girl was locked down tight and Kim positively itched to get inside her head.

She missed Drifting, truthfully. Kim ached for not having to use words to let someone know exactly what you wanted to show them, that effortless understanding. The cohesion and warmth that came from reaching the height of perception with your partner. The fall however, if things went bad… Kim wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Though, how hypocritical to even let that thought surface because Kim hadn’t just fallen, she’d pushed the person who was supposed to be her other half off the metaphorical cliff first.

So yes, Kim wanted to Drift with Trini. But, as badly as she wanted to finally figure out the other girl, doing so would mean that Trini would see who Kim really was, too. When she figured out what Kim did and why, and it was likely to send her packing for good. 

“You going in or are you just going to wait out here while I spar myself?” 

Kim blinked at Trini, confused for a second until she realized they were standing at the entrance to the Kwoon Room and Trini had been holding the door for her for who knows how long.

“Why does she have to be here, though?” She sounded petulant but couldn’t help it. 

Trini groaned in exasperation and grabbed the sleeve of Kim’s jumpsuit in order to drag her over the threshold into the room. “Jesus Hart, you’re killing me. Why the hell does it matter?”

“Literally every authority figure on Base hates me, so please excuse me for not wanting to have any prolonged interactions with them,” Kim muttered.

“Diana doesn’t hate you.”

Kim felt her eyebrows lift in surprise, “ _Diana_? Excuse me, but who the hell calls the Fightmaster by her first name?”

“I’ve never prohibited anyone from calling me by my given name.”

The unexpected interruption made Kim leap about a foot in the air. Diana loomed over her shoulder and Trini broke into delighted laugher, presumably at the look on her face. It was the first time Kim heard her really laugh, eyes crinkling and shoulders shaking. 

She didn’t have time to revel in it though; she was too busy cringing out of the shadow of the Fightmaster and ducking into Trini’s side. For whatever reason her tiny partner didn’t seem intimidated and if Kim had to use her as a human shield she sure as hell would.

However, Diana ignored her in favor of placing a finger under Trini’s chin and tilting her head up to get a good look at her. Kim tensed, all at once inexplicably ready to step in if she needed to, despite her willingness to hide only a few seconds earlier. It became apparent that Trini didn’t need a rescuer though, in fact she looked quite pleased to have Diana’s attention on her. She was practically preening as the woman looked her over.

“I haven’t seen you in awhile, Little Warrior.” 

Kim knew she was gaping quite unattractively but seriously, what the fuck? In the week she’d spent with Trini the other girl hadn’t said so much as hi to anyone in the hallways much less smiled at their _nicknames_ for her.

Trini said, “I know. I thought I was getting kicked out of the pilot program so I stopped coming. I’m sorry.” Trini’s face was open and utterly sincere, and Kim finally got a glimpse past those impenetrable walls. For whatever reason, these two had a relationship and it made Kim realize just how much she wanted Trini to be able to look at her like that, without a twisting smirk or a deflective joke to keep the distance.

Kim cleared her throat and both women turned to look at her. Diana’s eyes narrowed slightly in appraisal and Kim straightened her spine. She hadn’t had a session with the Fightmaster in months. Even before that she’d never really had anything more than a passing affiliation with Diana. When she started to squirm under her gaze, Trini finally broke in, “Diana, you’re familiar with Kimberly Hart. Commander Zordon assigned us to each other.”

Diana only nodded, “I know.”

Kim inclined her head in respect but had to fight her instinct to keep eye contact as she did so. It was hard to fight the brazen nature that she used to embody. Facing things head on now that people despised her was difficult, not because she was afraid of their anger but because Kim knew she deserved it. Though, deserving or not, it didn’t change the fact that she was unfamiliar with submission and the deference to accept whatever someone saw fit to throw at her.

“Head up, Trainee. Judging your past is not my job.”

The statement was said in Diana’s normal tone, but it seemed to echo around the empty room. Or maybe the reverberation was just inside Kim’s chest. Regardless, it gave her courage to meet Diana’s gaze and what she saw there was not the disappointment she expected. Diana looked wise beyond her years and though there was a hint of wariness, her eyes were kind. 

Diana led them through a warm up and stretching session before pitting them against each other in hand to hand combat. Kim felt bare without her usual staff but the lack of distance suited Trini’s aggressive style. She had Kim on her knees trapped in a headlock in less than the space between two heartbeats. Even with Diana watching them, Kim couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up at the sheer tenacity that was Trini Kwan. 

As soon as Trini released her and Kim saw the identical looks of incredulity on her partner and the Fightmaster that her giggles caused, she broke into another bright laugh which prompted Trini to shrug at Diana and say, “I dunno, she’s just weird like that sometimes.”

As the session progressed, Kim realized that she had to bring out her scrappier side to match Trini. She wasn’t above a well placed elbow jab, and Kim had admittedly sharp elbows. It was a different feeling than their first spin round the Kwoon Room, but no less compatible for it. Their bodies slid against each other like flint and steel and Kim’s world narrowed until she was nothing but an extension of Trini, or Trini of her- who could tell, really?

When the spar devolved into Trini and Kim rolling around on the mat in a passable impersonation of a pair of play-fighting bear cubs, Diana called for a break.

Kim barely had time to get a drink of water before Diana was tossing her a staff. Kim automatically turned to face Trini, who had picked up her own staff, and earned a sharp rap to the back of the head for her troubles.

“Ow, what the hell?” She yelped, and whirled to see Diana innocently twirling her own staff.

“It is not wise to turn your back on your opponent,” she smirked.

“Ah, my apologies, Fightmaster, I guess I wasn’t notified that you _were my opponent_ ,” Kim groused, too wiped at this point to try for the intimidated reverence that Diana usually inspired, but then Trini stepped up next to her left shoulder and something inside of her that she didn’t even realize had fallen out of alignment clicked back into place.

“Learning each other is necessary, but working together is your end goal,” said Diana.

When Kim glanced over to Trini she was already looking at her. They nodded and then turned to face Diana in unison.

It wasn’t so much of an outright spar as it was bursts of quick engagement and separation punctuated with instruction from Diana.

“Trini, where is Kim right now? Ah you don’t know, do you! Keep one eye on her at all times. You can’t win alone!”

“Watch your footing, Kim. You can tell by now when Trini is going to attack so make sure you’re defending her back when she does so; don’t let me turn!”

“Ah, there we go! Great job girls, keep fighting- don’t stop pushing!”

Diana whirled, staff flashing towards Trini’s unprotected back but Kim was there to meet it. Their weapons cracked and slid apart and Kim pressed her shoulder blades to Trini’s for a moment before her momentum carried her around. Kim leapt forward and forced Diana to take a retreating step, but Trini was already ducking low to tangle herself in Diana’s feet. With a final shove of her staff, braced sideways against their teacher’s, Kim forced Diana into a backwards tumble over Trini. Diana tried to roll out of it but Trini managed to scramble upright in time to place her staff to her throat. Kim disarmed her with a flick of her own staff and then the three of them stared at each other and panted until a bright smile blossomed on Diana’s face.

She reached out and Kim and Trini each clasped on of her hands and pulled her to her feet. Diana had bested them about four times already just in the last hour but this victory felt even sweeter because of it. 

“Excellent work you two, I’m very happy with your progress.”

It’d been so long since someone had said anything even remotely positive to Kim. She felt her smile wobble because she hadn’t realized just how miserable she’d been until she suddenly wasn’t anymore. It was like coming in after being outside in January and not realizing she was so cold she was numb until oh hey - she could finally feel her fingers again.

After they were finished and Trini was across the room getting a drink, Diana crouched down beside Kim and said quietly, only for her to hear, “I do not think that what you did is who you are Kimberly. Bad things are done by good people every day. How you see yourself and what you do now is up to you.”

The sweat in her eyes made them sting, and Diana’s words made her tremble. Kim ducked her head, not quite willing to believe her but instinctually trusting her all the same. “Okay,” she whispered.

A few minutes later as they were walking slowly towards the DFAC to get dinner, Trini nudged her arm with her elbow. “Told you she didn’t hate you.”

Kim looked over at Trini. She was relaxed, maybe the most that Kim had seen her be so far, hands in her pockets and hair let down around her shoulders. Diana’s words plucked at her; _what you do now is up to you._

“How is this not killing you?”

Trini frowned, “What? Training? We’ve literally been in this training program for years what-”

“No,” Kim interrupted, “How have you not asked me yet?”

“Kim, I’m not really following.”

Kim stopped in her tracks and huffed in frustration as Trini turned to face her. “You haven’t mentioned why I almost got kicked out. You never asked why I did what I did.”

Trini shrugged, “Honestly, I don’t even really know what happened. I figured that you’d tell me if you wanted to tell me.”

Kim blinked, unexpectedly touched for the second time that day, but she didn’t have time to mull over a reply before a shoulder as hard and thick as a brick wall jut between them roughly enough to shove Kim back a few steps.

“I don’t think you want to be talking to her,” sneered a voice so familiar that all Kim could do was close her eyes.

“Sorry, who exactly are you?” Trini’s voice was hard but it didn’t seem to dissuade Ty at all. He was blonde hair, sharp teeth and swagger. All things that had attracted her in the past now made her go rigid instead.

“Hey girl, I’m just trying to help you out, don’t get all riled up,” he said. “I’m Ty Fleming, 6th Rotation, soon to be pilot of Tiger Spark.”

“That tin can Jaeger meant to be stationed in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, Russia? Good luck with that, buddy. You’re saying a lot of dumb shit, and yet somehow none if it explains why you’re still talking to me,” Trini drawled. Ty’s tone had obviously raised her hackles. Behind her bravado, Trini’s eyes kept flicking to Kim over Ty’s shoulder, trying to wordlessly ask her what was going on. Kim just looked away.

Ty’s face started to twist from a haughty sneer into a real snarl. Kim plucked weakly at Trini’s sleeve and muttered, “C’mon Trini, let’s just go.”

At this, Ty wheeled and finally addressed her, “You don’t think she deserves to know just how her future _partner_ ,” this he spat like it was poisonous, “likes to treat her copilots? She’s going to find out what a shady bitch you are at some point, why not now?”

Kim opened her mouth but she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. There was nothing to defend herself with; he wasn’t saying anything that wasn’t true.

“Sorry Kim, I didn’t catch that. Got nothing to add? Does that mean you’re going to resort to hitting me again?” Ty said. He brought his hands up and threw a mocking little punch into the air between them that made Kim flinch.

“Don’t touch her!” Trini shoved her way in front of Ty, so close to both of them that her back was pressed up against Kim’s chest and her face only inches from Ty’s laughing hyena mouth.

Instead of igniting further, Ty just scoffed again and stepped back. He held up his hands and said, “You’re fighting for the wrong team, girl. Don’t come crying to me then when Kim claws all the memories out of your head and spits them back out for everyone to see. She’s had a lot of practice.”

Without waiting for a response from either one of them, Ty turned on the heel of his shiny boots and walked away.

Kim was left hollowed and sucking in air that escaped right back out through the wreckage of her ribcage. Trini took one look at her and snarled, “I’m going to beat the shit out of that guy,” but Kim managed to summon the energy to grab the back of her jumpsuit before she could stride after Ty.

“Don’t.” Leaking, everything that was supposed to be solid and important inside of her was leaking out. She needed Trini to stay but she couldn’t ask her to. She didn’t deserve what Kim could be. Their victory against Diana felt like it’d never happened.

Trini stood with her back to Kim, staring down the hallway after Ty while clenching and unclenching her fists over and over. “He can’t say that to you.”

_Yes, he can_. Kim didn’t respond and instead said, “I’m going back to our room.” Her voice sounded as hollow as the rest of her felt.

She didn’t know what she expected but it wasn’t for Trini to turn and fall into step beside her. The other girl was still visibly frustrated but she sucked in a slow breath through her nose and said, “Okay, yeah let’s do that. I’ll cook us something.”

“Trini you don’t have to…” Kim trailed off. She didn’t have to what? Skip spaghetti night in the DFAC and cook for her instead? Defend her against Ty? Train with her, be her friend? The only reason Trini was doing any of this was probably because Zordon tied their fates together so tightly there was no way for Trini to leave without ruining her own life as well. Kim wondered what it felt like to be bound to a lit firecracker, bound to ignite. All she ever felt on her end was the burning. 

“What Ty said was true you know.”

Trini didn’t respond. They just kept walking slowly towards their room. The Base splayed outwards like the corpse of some colossal being and they were wandering lost through its long dead bones. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Kim wanted to stop and shake Trini until she finally _reacted_ but her feet just kept shuffling and her head stayed down.

“Let me make us some food,” was all Trini finally said.

\---------------------

“Are you not tired?” Kim thought it was a dumb question because honestly, Trini looked like hell, but what was she supposed to say? Dinner had been a silent affair and both of them had retreated to their room afterwards with thoughts unspoken weighing heavy, heavy. Kim was worried that their mass would sever the tenuous tie that was starting to be spun between them; a boulder resting on a length of twine. 

Trini wasn’t even laying down; she was sitting on top of the covers clicking through songs on her phone that were just barely audible from underneath her headphones. She must have heard because she looked over but she didn’t say anything. Kim actually had never seen Trini fall asleep since she’d known her. She stayed up longer than Kim and woke before her every day without fail.

However, tonight Kim wasn’t going to sleep. The way she saw it, she could either watch as Trini got driven away by the words of other people or she could just deal the blow herself. Kim was a lot of things but when it came down to it, she wasn’t a coward. Plus, there was a little spark of hope inside of her that had yet to be fully stomped out, one that whispered, who knows, maybe Trini could take the hit.

Kim motioned for Trini to take off her headphones and said when she complied, “Listen, I need you to know what really happened. I need you to know, and then it’ll be your choice if you want to keep trying this.” Kim closed her eyes for a second to watch the past to play back on a sickening loop in her head, an addiction she never could seem to quit. “I won’t blame you if you don’t.”

“Seems like it’s killing you a lot more than its killing me,” Trini said, “But if you want to show me, I’m not going to say no.”

The walk to the Simulation Room was over too quickly and Kim’s nerves were buzzing in harmony with all of the computer and interface systems that lined the walls. The Sim Room used to be a fun place for her; she and Amanda and Ty and his rotating cast of buddies used to spend all night in here sometimes. They’d smuggle in snacks and swap IDs to trick the time out codes on the Simulators so they could mess around in their virtual Jaegers until the sun came up.

Even if an instructor had found them out, nothing would have come of it. They were the princes and princesses of the Base. If Kim turned her head too fast, the shadow next to the door became Ty, not angry like he was today but watching fondly as she and Amanda ripped through another Kaiju. If she squinted, the blinking light on the control board became Amanda’s headset, guiding Kim back to what used to be home.

She had to stop and squeeze her eyes shut for a count of 1, 2 ,3 before scanning her ID to unlock the closest Simulator. She hadn’t set foot in this room since that poisonous day that had split the timeline of her life here into a before and after. Trini hovered over her shoulder and Kim could feel her trepidation without even having to look at her.

Trini allowed Kim to lead her to the Simulator and hand her a Pons headset but when Kim started to put on her own, Trini stopped her and said, “Kim, I told you I can’t Drift. This isn’t going to work.”

Kim did her best to flash her a little smile, even as nerves thrummed so strongly inside of her that she was trembling, and explained, “It’s not Drifting, not quite. We don’t have to connect and form the Bridge, there’s a little, oh I don’t know what you’d call it, space I guess, before that point and I know how to use it. I’ve… done it before.”

Trini looked wary and Kim didn’t blame her. She turned the headset over in her hands and said, “What do I have to do, though? I don’t want anything to come through and mess up whatever you’re doing.”

“Honestly, you’ll probably be pretty good at it since it’s like the opposite of Drifting, at least on your end.” Trini scowled at her and a little oasis of fondness gave her a break from the strain for a second. Kim continued, “Don’t try to push anything through or reach out, just keep to yourself until you feel me. Then sit back and watch.”

Explaining the process to Trini was distracting Kim from what she was about to do and it calmed her enough for her hands to stop shaking so she could power up the computer system.

“Alright.” Trini slid the headset on and settled in the left pilot chair that used to be Kim’s. Trini’s voice held that detached tone that it had the first few days and the forced distance made Kim’s heart thud as she recognized the defense mechanism. Trini was as scared about this as she was. 

Kim hadn’t lied to Trini; this wasn’t really Drifting, but it felt enough like it that nostalgia slid like lead through her veins. The headset flashed gold, signaling it was at full capacity and Kim glanced to make sure Trini’s was calibrated as well before she closed her eyes and slid into the emptiness that could only be present before profound connection. The nothing-potential before the Big Bang.

Kim felt Trini before she even really became aware of herself. There was a pulsing mass of _feeling_ coming from across the inky nothingness that was the space Kim had tried to explain earlier. The abyss across which the Bridge would be built if they were actually planning on Drifting. Though all Kim wanted to do, ached to do, was wrap around the other consciousness and sink into it, she held onto herself. Still, bits of emotion and scraps of memory splintered off of Trini and it took Kim’s best effort to let them slip through her without giving them a surface to latch onto. She felt just a touch of saltwater, the taste of dust, and then a jolt of something too distorted to comprehend before they disintegrated away.

Thinking was different here, and there wasn’t so much speaking as there was intent, so it took Kim a few moments to formulate a message.

_Trini, stay still. I won’t show you anything until you’re ready._

Outside of the emptiness Kim still had enough spatial awareness to reach blindly over and clasp Trini’s hand. Trini latched onto her with surprising strength that Kim quickly realized was born from fear. The Drift terrified her.

But before Kim could say anything else, the consciousness that was Trini dimmed enough so that it was apparent the other girl had eased it under control. Kim let a few beats pass before she was certain that Trini was truly calm, and then started to give her memories.

She offered up the day she met Amanda in the Kwoon Room. All Kim could bare to show were flashes; Kim getting hit so hard she bit through her lip, Amanda grinding her face down into the mat before Kim jerked her head back to smack her right in the chin, their staffs forgotten on the floor. The wanting that ripped through her at the feeling of someone else fighting just as hard for this as she was.

Then, her and Amanda sitting weeks later on the roof of some forgotten corner of the Base. Their legs dangled out over the beach and the wet breeze coming off the ocean sprayed against their shins. Amanda whispering, “You and me Hart, we’re going to save the world.”

The first time they Drifted in a Simulator. This memory was hard to pull out, it was so sacred, but Kim forced herself to pry it up so Trini could see underneath. A sob caught painfully, back outside of her mind in her real body and Kim fought it down. 

The feeling of her mind twining with Amanda’s until Kim wasn’t Kim anymore. Being not just doubled but almost infinitely better, stronger, _more_. Amanda’s life and her memories overlaid Kim’s own until they couldn’t even begin to find the edges of where one girl started and the other ended. One being, one bond. Copilots for the first time.

They wished for it to never end, but when the Simulation petered out and spat them back into their own bodies the wanting returned tenfold. Being apart after that was unfathomable. Kim showed Trini how she’d crashed back into Amanda and tangled their limbs together, then their lips, and then later the rest of their bodies when even that wasn’t enough.

Kim and hadn’t been in love with Amanda, but she loved her fiercely all the same. There was no way not to, because Kim knew what it felt like to wear Amanda’s memories and slip into her life as easily as ducking underwater.

Kim skimmed fast over Ty because it was starting to hurt too much, only showing Trini enough to make her understand that she had loved him, too. Still, despite her efforts flashes of his blonde hair and the previously endearing burr of his voice came through. The feeling of his skin against hers as he picked her up and wheeled her around while both of them laughed and laughed. The sensation of being utterly fearless that only came when you knew you had the ability to slay any monster that dared rise in front of you.

Then, the day she found out. Amanda tried in vain to hide the memory from her in the Drift but of course that was impossible (she must have known Kim would see it and she did it anyway and that probably hurt the worst). The awful twin sensations of Amanda’s ache as Ty fucked her against her bedroom wall and the choking betrayal that shattered every good thing Kim had thought she’d been building for herself. One single memory was all it took to sever the strings of Kim’s control and bring her life crashing down around her ears.

Shame dragged at her as Kim dredged up the scenes from the day she became the Bitch of the Base. She’d yanked Ty into the Sim Room by his collar and slammed him into the piloting chair next to hers, ignoring his stammered excuses. Kim was fueled by rage and impulse and she’d built up so much momentum that nothing from Earth or Breach could have stopped her.

She and Ty weren’t compatible and it made the pre-Drift splutter like an engine that wouldn’t quite turn over. All she had to do though was bring it to life and open that space even just for a few moments. It was more than enough time than Kim needed to ruin everything.

What Kim revealed to Ty were memories of memories; she showed him Amanda. She splayed out the other girls hallowed remembrances and feelings and all the bad things Amanda had ever done and made him consume them. She showed him every person Amanda ever fucked. Kim made him watch Amanda take the pictures she’d later send to him. As a final twist of the dagger that hurt her more than anyone, she made sure he watched through Amanda’s eyes as she ate Kim out only a few days ago against the Sim Room doors one night after the rest of them had gone to sleep.

All of it culminated into one thought that she slammed relentlessly into his consciousness: _Is this really the kind of girl you want to be with?_ (pretending all the while that Amanda wasn’t the girl Kim thought she’d spend the rest of her life with, that she hated her when all she really wanted to do was curl up against her one more time). By the time it was over, Ty was tearing the headset off and scrambling away from her. “Crazy bitch!” he’d screeched at her in a voice shrill with disbelief.

The last thing Kim gave to Trini was the feeling of her knuckles splitting against the edge of Ty’s tooth. 

Her mind bled and bled until there wasn’t enough left to sustain the Drift, and then it withered away. 

Once she’d flickered back into herself, Kim lifted the headset off and gently set it down on the control panel. Tears were coursing down her cheeks and her throat felt tight in a way that meant she’d been crying for awhile now without realizing it.

She couldn’t bare to look over at Trini so she shoved the heels of her hands into her eyes hard enough to see tiny white flashes of light.

The Drift made everything so much more real. It was like watching back an HD movie of her past instead of just thumbing through hazy memories on her own. It fucking hurt just like it had when it was actually happening. 

Kim wasn’t able to stop a moan of pain, “She was my partner! She was mine, and I wasn’t enough. She didn’t want me back, so she went and took the only person who did.” 

“Jesus, Kim,” Trini choked out. Kim didn’t want to see her face but at the sound of her voice she couldn’t stop herself. Trini was pale and sweat plastered her hair to her temples. Her eyes were wide and glassy and she was staring at Kim like she didn’t know her at all.

“You had no right. Those weren’t your memories to share.”

“I know,” Kim whispered. There hadn’t been a single second since that day that Kim hadn’t spent wishing she could take it all back.

“Your boyfriend shouldn’t have cheated on you and your copilot… god I don’t know how she did that to you, but fuck Kim, you should not have done that.”

There was nothing Kim could say that Trini didn’t already know; she’d felt her rage and shame and guilt embedded in those memories. There was nothing left to explain. 

Kim couldn’t read her expression at all, but she wasn’t surprised when Trini stood up and slowly walked out of the room. Kim was left wretched and alone, and the worst part of it was just how familiar it felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ow, I made myself sad. I tried to strike a balance between showing that what Kim did was super fucked up while still making her redeemable sooo let me know if that worked. 
> 
> And let me be clear here, this was not meant to slut shame Amanda. What Kim did, both in canon and in my story, was wrong, no excuses.
> 
> (also, how come if I use the Rich Text editor, it has like double returns/enters between each of my paragraphs? That's not how it was typed in word and it bugs the shit out of me- help!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Trini?”
> 
> “I’m fine,” Trini whispered even as she trembled. Zack reached for her but just before his fingertips would have skimmed her sides she suddenly realized that being held was the last thing she wanted. The boundaries of her own self felt sticky from being inside Kim’s mind; if Zack touched her she wasn’t sure how much of her would cling and tear away from her once he left.

Trini shut the door to the Simulation Room very gently. She walked slowly back through the hallways of the Base because it felt like if she didn’t place each foot deliberately, all the tension inside of her was going burst out of her careful control and shake her apart. 

That had not been the Drift, or at least nothing more than the surface tension above the depths possible within it, but Trini was reeling. She’d gotten that far with Zack, but it’d been her memories bursting forth, rearing up and frothing at the reins of her control. They’d overtaken both of them so fast.

Today was the longest she’d ever spent connected to someone and it was the first time she’d been given memories instead of spilling out her own. Trini had no idea it felt like that from the other side. It wasn’t like she’d been watching Kim; she _had been_ Kim. Not the entire time; the Drift was always shifting and forming and reforming. Sometimes she’d been on the outside looking in through a window-like film, but throughout most of the things Kim had shown her, Trini had experienced it as though she and Kim were seeing, feeling, through the same lens. 

The feeling of Amanda’s mouth between her legs rose up out of the fog inside her head and the subsequent flush of heat made Trini stumble. Her hand shot out for balance and she flinched as it slapped loud against the corrugated metal of the wall. She saw the look on Ty’s face as he ripped off the headset. She felt the impression of panic turn to rage roiling under her ribcage- no, not hers. Kim’s.

Her entire equilibrium was off and Trini needed to be grounded. She was so unsettled that she didn’t even feel guilty knocking on their door so late. Muffled footsteps padded towards her from inside the room and despite him not being the one she really needed to see, Jason’s face was welcome. The boy in front of her was so far removed from every heart wrenching, cruel, painful thing she’d seen in Kim’s memories that Trini almost sobbed at the sight of his sleepy eyes and pillow-creased skin.

Jason only blinked at her for a moment before wordlessly stepping aside to usher her in. Trini felt him hesitate as he closed the door but when he made up his mind to step closer she allowed him to rest a steady hand on her shoulder. 

“Is everything alright?” Jason asked. Sleep had roughened his voice and Trini was surprised to find the simple timbre soothed her edges a little bit. She didn’t really know how to answer him. Jason waited a beat and when it became clear Trini wasn’t going to say anything, he steered her towards the boys’ bedroom with a little pressure on her shoulder blade.

The door to the room was still open from when Jason presumably left it to answer the door and when Trini slipped into it in front of him she sank into the cool darkness. She inhaled a quivery breath and smelled the unmistakable scent of boys; fresh laundry and a little bit of sweat and the ever present metal of the Base.

They had a bunk bed and a twin bed that they’d pushed flush against the bottom bunk’s mattress to form a big enough sleeping space for the three of them. The top bunk had enough workout gear and bits of metal and other pieces of Billy’s projects piled onto it that made it obvious it wasn’t slept in all that often.

Jason quietly shut the door behind them and opened the curtain so a bit of moonlight could filter into the room. Trini was grateful he didn’t flick on the lights. The night felt feral and Trini’s thoughts were too skittish to be fully exposed.

A shadowy head picked up from the middle of the bed and Trini recognized the outline of Zack’s mussed hair. In the daylight she would have been too embarrassed to even set foot in the room while Billy and Jason were both in it, but it was late so Trini didn’t stop her impulse to hit the mattress on her knees and seek out Zack with both hands. She clutched at the hem of his shirt as he propped himself up on one elbow and blinked himself into awareness. 

“Trini?”

“I’m fine,” Trini whispered even as she trembled. He reached for her but just before his fingertips would have skimmed her sides she suddenly realized that being held was the last thing she wanted. The boundaries of her own self felt sticky from being inside Kim’s mind; if Zack touched her she wasn’t sure how much of her would cling and tear away from her once he left.

She lurched backwards and Zack hurriedly whispered, “Alright, okay, I won’t touch. It’s okay.”

Zack sat up and leaned against the post of the bunk and gestured that she could hold onto his shirt again if she wanted to and Trini was so, so thankful that there was at least one person left who knew what she needed, even if she didn’t. The fabric of his shirt was the kind of soft that only happened after many years of careful wear and it reassured her that she wasn’t lost in someone else’s memory. This was real; Zack was here. 

Zack shuffled his long limbs around so that he and Trini could sit facing each other if they both crossed their legs. The movement made Billy stir from his spot against the wall with an unintelligible murmur and Jason crawled carefully over the tangle of Trini and Zack’s legs so he could rub a light hand over the crest of Billy’s shaved head. “Hey B, Trini’s here, okay? Nothing to worry about.”

Billy gave a little sigh as he fully woke up and leaned his head back into Jason’s touch. Then he reached out until he found Trini in the dark and tapped the comforter with his index and middle fingers to let her know he was there. It was such an odd little gesture, but so quintessentially Billy that it grounded her even more in the present. He asked, “You okay?”

Instead of insisting she was fine again, Trini laid back against the bedpost and actually thought about it for the first time since leaving the Simulation Room. She felt more like herself again now, at least.

“Kim showed me in the Drift what she did to her last partner.”

Zack rested his chin on top of a fist and asked, “What happened?”

Trini wondered for a second if it was her place to tell, but it was Zack. He was a part of her, and Billy and Jason had that same bond with him by extension. She needed to talk about this, and from the face Jason was making, she could tell that they already knew anyway.

“Kim’s copilot slept with her boyfriend. I think Kim was a little bit in love with both of them, or at least it felt like it in her memories,” Trini’s eyes closed and their echoes of laughter from days long past, Kim’s and Amanda’s and Ty’s, pin-balled through her head, “and- and jesus you guys, I could _feel_ the moment she found out.” 

The ghost of that horrific, splintering pain (three as one suddenly becoming two versus one, and the awful chasm of singularity that separated her) wafted back up into her chest. Trini’s fingers tried for a second to claw it away before Zack reached forward and carefully caught her sleeve.

“Kim freaked out and showed Ty every bad memory she could, straight from Amanda’s head. The ones she knew would hurt both of them the most. She fucking destroyed her.”

“That’s not what the Drift is for,” Billy spoke up. His voice was solemn. Trini could see Jason curved around Billy’s back but he’d ducked his head down into the curve of Billy’s neck so she couldn’t see his face.

“She probably wasn’t thinking about that, or even thinking at all,” Zack said. He sounded less reproving than Billy and Trini knew it was because Zack was no stranger to lashing out first, thinking later. It was, after all, one of the things that’d made them contrast well with each other; Trini’s first instinct was always to run. “I mean, can you even imagine? The person who’s supposed to be your… your everything, betraying you like that? I can’t say I wouldn’t want to hurt someone back after that.”

Trini rubbed her forehead with the heel of her palm and whispered, “But how am I supposed to trust that she won’t do it to me?”

The muscles in Zack’s arms tightened enough so that even in the dim moonlight Trini could see them cord and tense. He was the only other living soul that knew what Trini was running from. He’d gleaned bits and shards of it during their ill-fated Drifting attempts and Trini eventually told him the rest, spun across long nights and nightmares that never quite faded when the sun came up. But even Zack had never actually seen it, and if Kim managed to break the barrier he couldn’t and then turned around and did to Trini what she had to Amanda… 

“You saw inside her head,” Jason said, jarring her out of the worst case scenario thoughts. The three of them waited for Jason to continue but eventually Zack had to prompt, “Aaaand? What’s your point Jay?”

Jason rubbed his tired face into Billy’s shoulder again and Trini felt a spike of guilt at waking them. “Well, I mean you can’t hide anything in the Drift. You guys weren’t actually Drifting per say, but even in that pre-Drift space altering memories well enough to be believable is pretty much impossible. So whatever she showed you, whatever she was feeling in those memories, was real. Based on what you saw; do you think she’d do it again?”

The first thing that flew out of Trini’s mouth was, “I would never hurt her like that in the first place- she would have no reason to.” The admission caught her by surprise but it was true; Trini could not imagine ever causing Kim pain like that. But then again, Trini knew better than most that destroying things didn’t always go hand in hand with intention.

Zack cocked his head and the way a moonbeam caught in the glassy curve of his eye made him seem like less human and a little more something else. Like a raven, or a wild thing that ran through the night. There was, in fact, a little bit of wanting hidden inside of that look; a little bit of lament. Trini understood in that moment that it wasn’t only her who lost something when their partnership ended. She hadn’t considered that the act of gaining Jason and Billy couldn’t have been possible without a balancing subtraction. That maybe he missed her just as much as she did him.

“You like her,” he said, a step above a whisper but hoarse enough so that it wasn’t fully spoken out loud. Again, a sliver of envy twined around the spaces between his words.

“Zack…” Billy heard it too, because of course he did- _Billy_ had been inside Zack’s head. Billy knew him inside and out in a way Trini failed to master and would never get the chance to try and do again.

Trini wanted to shrink away, run, go home, always go home- she wanted nothing _more_ than to go home, but she forced herself to stay put. This hollowed out framework of potential that never got filled in had been hanging between her and Zack for far too long, and now that she knew it was hurting him as much as it as her, it was time to be done with it.

“I do like her.” Zack flinched and all of a sudden Trini was angry, “I do! Are you kidding me, Zack? You’re going to make that face at me when you have both of them,” she flung her hand out towards Jason and Billy and then it was their turn to flinch.

“You have them and I have had _nobody_. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us- _god_ \- you know how sorry I am, but I need to have another shot at this, so you don’t get to look at me like that!”

Zack’s chin fell but never broke eye contact with her. His face was so starkly contrasted with shadows and dim light that the sorrow that was creasing it was even more pronounced.

“I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough,” Zack finally said after a few moments of charged silence.

Her anger leeched away as quickly as it had come. Trini blinked at him. All the issues that kept them from Drifting, from succeeding, were rooted in her and Zack knew that. Didn’t he?

“What are you talking about? It was my fault; I know you know that Zack.”

Zack shook his head and said, “If I had been better, we should have been able to overcome anything. I wasn’t strong enough.”

_Zack laid on the floor where he had fallen out of the controller chair, curled on his side with his arm bent uncomfortably beneath him. He was choking and sputtering and the noise was so grotesque that Trini forced herself to pry off her Pons headset so she could crawl over to him._

_“I’m sorry Zack, I’m so sorry!” She hauled his head and shoulders up into her lap and tried to muster the strength to pound the flat of her palm against his back. Nothing was actually in his lungs but it had been in her memories and Trini’s lungs burned in tandem with his coughs._

_When Zack finally got his breath back and was able to open his eyes he smiled weakly up at her and said, “I think we almost had it that time, T.”_

_They hadn’t; they’d been nowhere near close to completing the Bridge and forming the Drift and the fact that both of them knew it made his statement morbidly funny. Trini’s throat constricted around a laugh and she bent over to press her forehead to his._

_This had been their last try, and they both knew that, too. The loss of her partner, even as she held him in her lap, was distinctly painful. Trini pressed her hand over Zack’s heartbeat and whispered apologies to him until her voice hurt as much as her lungs._

Trini vehemently shook her head. “No, Zack. I just couldn’t stop chasing that damn R.A.B.I.T. That’s not on you. I pulled the plug and dragged us back out every time and that’s not on you either.”

Zack nodded sadly but Trini knew the shame that dragged at the corners of his lips wasn’t going to be banished so easily.

“I’m sorry for being upset,” he finally said, “I hope you and Hart can make it work. I think you should let her give it a shot; you’ve been better since you met her. Maybe she can do it.” The unspoken, _do what I couldn’t_ hung in the room and Billy let out a slow, sad breath.

“We may never be copilots, but we’re always going to be Drift compatible and that means something to me, Zack.” Trini pressed her lips together and tried to figure out how to hold all of the love and regret and hope inside of her without letting it hurt. “I’m not going to forget about us.”

There was nothing much more to say. Zack held out his fist and Trini pressed her own against it.

\----------------------------

Morning crested and found Trini with her face pressed against someone’s kneecap. Billy’s, she noted as she groggily pushed herself up off the mattress. Zack’s head was tucked under Billy’s chin but their lower bodies were far enough apart so that Trini had space to curl into a ball between them. 

There was a Jason shaped absence behind Billy and Trini followed the smell of coffee out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to find him.

She didn’t really have anything to say planned out but when Trini turned the corner and saw the older man standing in front of the window with a cup cradled between his hands, she stepped up next to him.

“Morning.”

“Hey. Sleep okay?”

Trini nodded, “Yeah, once Zack finally stopped moving around and kicking me.”

Jason chuckled, “I’m familiar with that particular tendency.”

Trini squirmed internally for a second before she decided to spit it out, “I wanted to apologize for acting weird around you. Or, unfriendly or whatever. It wasn’t anything you did, I just…”

Jason turned back to gaze out the window again. It was a grey morning. Grey waves lapped against the grey pebbled shore under a featureless cloud cover. “You don’t have to apologize. I understand in a way. I was never compatible with anyone before Zack. I worked well with everyone but there was never a spark. I wanted that connection so badly, and for a long time it never happened. But now that I have it, I can’t imagine going through what you guys did.”

“Then don’t,” Trini said, “Take care of him. Both of them.”

“Always.” The way Jason spoke, somehow both wistful and solid, made Trini believe him. They stood quietly together and looked out over the ocean and the uncomfortable feeling that Trini usually had around Jason seemed to have departed.

Before either of them could speak again a bone rattling siren split open the calm morning. Sleepy, loving Jason shifted so quickly into soldier Jason that Trini just stepped back and watched as he sprinted into the bedroom and dashed back out not 20 seconds later with his boots on and Zack and Billy on his heels. 

“You better come back covered in blue!” Trini shouted at their backs as they ducked out of the door.

“Blood and thunder!” Zack bellowed and then they were around the corner and out of sight. 

The Kaiju alarms kept screaming and they would until every Drift technician, helicopter operator, LOCCENT officer and Jaeger engineer was awake and in the Shatterdome, ready to do their jobs. It was a siren song that Trini longed to follow, even as it shook up a soul-deep panic inside of her as it wailed on and on.

Trini’s presence wouldn’t be tolerated in the Shatterdome today, but she was drawn to the impending fight regardless. Her feet seemed to move on instinct and when Trini finally burst out of a door onto a small forgotten corner of rooftop facing the sea, her heart stuttered in her chest. She’d been here before, but no, that wasn’t true. This place was only familiar in Kim’s memories, not her own.

She shouldn’t have known how to get here, there was no way. It had to be a coincidence but even as Trini tried to convince herself, she knew that it wasn’t. The Shatterdome shuddered somewhere to the left of her and the staccato chop of the helicopters became audible over the wind and the waves.

As Ranger Triton’s proud crown became visible over the edge of the Base the door slammed open behind her. Kim didn’t even notice Trini standing there until she’d skidded to a stop against the railing, as lured to the Jaeger and its looming adversary as Trini was.

When she finally did realize she wasn’t alone, Kim cringed away from Trini so hard that Trini had to clench the fabric of her sleeves in her fists to stop herself from reaching out. Conflicted feelings swarmed and the two of them stood juxtaposed, each silent and wary for different reasons.

The colossal splash of Ranger being dropped into the ocean broke the staring match and Kim hesitantly offered up the black box Trini hadn’t realized she’d been holding in her hand. It was a battered screen showing a live stream of Ranger’s cockpit. It was muted but Trini saw a Billy’s face flash across the screen, and then a stream of vitals. A second spray flew up as Giga Strike was deployed on Ranger’s flank.

“You can watch with me. If you want.” 

Hearing Kim’s voice, even as hesitant and small as it was in that moment, felt so _good_ that it pissed Trini off a little bit. This girl was obviously trouble squared with baggage to boot and yet…

“I’ll stay,” Trini said and Kim’s shoulders sagged in palpable relief, “but then we’ve got some shit to talk about.”

Kim moved hesitantly to her side and and propped the screen on the railing. Zack was hollering something and Jason was laughing at his antics. Amidst the waves, Ranger slammed his upper set of fists into one another and shook out his lower arms, getting pumped for the battle. 

“Seriously though, is screen this from the Drivesuit room? How the hell did you get a hold of one of these? Only techs are allowed stream access.” Trini didn’t want to talk about anything right now but she couldn’t help it. She was babbling and she knew it but she hadn’t been ready to see Kim again so soon. She hadn’t decided what to chose. Trini didn’t know what was right.

Kim didn’t have a chance to say anything before the ocean boiled over and spat out a monster. The Kaiju screeched and Ranger howled and then the clash of metal on flesh drowned out both of them.

Trini tightened her fingers around the railing and sent out the same prayer she always did when Ranger Triton was deployed. _Please be okay, don’t die, rip that motherfucker to shreds, please don’t die._

Kim sensed Trini’s nerves and shuffled closer. They weren’t quite touching and Trini knew that Kim wouldn’t without explicit permission at this point but surprisingly, and yet somehow not surprising at all, Trini realized that she would let her if she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I started vet school this fall. Grad school now owns my ass, so sorry about the shady updating schedule.
> 
> Also this might have seemed like a little bit of a filler chapter but I really think I needed to at least halfway resolve Zack and Trini's arc before I could dig into Trini's new relationship. 
> 
> Trimberly is coming. I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trini looked at Kim and she suddenly felt so bare and open that she didn’t know what to do with all of the space. “Look, besides Zack, I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have a home; my family is… I don’t have anyone else. Trini trailed off and then there was a beat before she asked, “Would you do it again?”

**Kaiju classified Category II/ Name: Jiraiya/ Specifications: quadrupedal, battering class, high toxicy levels – mouth/ Potential Targets: abdomen**

The stats scrolled across the screen she’d propped against the rusty railing of the rooftop and Kim listened as the Drive Techs briefed the pilots.

In all honesty, Kim was freaking the fuck out. Between the brutal clash going on in the waves below them and not knowing where she stood with Trini whilst Trini was literally standing right next to her, Kim was so tense she was trembling.

However, Trini was paying zero attention to Kim whatsoever; her focus was zeroed in on Ranger Triton and it only wavered to flick to the screen whenever the pilot vitals recalibrated. It was obvious that Trini was on edge, the bones of her knuckles were vivid underneath her skin as she gripped the railing, but there was something else swimming in the peripheries of her expression that Kim couldn’t pinpoint.

Down below, Ranger hefted the Kaiju up off its stubby legs with its primary arms and Jason used the bottom set to drive a brutal strike into its soft underbelly. The K-Watch officers were on point with the naming as always; a mythical toad monster perfectly described the squat, drooling Kaiju. Jiraiya screeched and managed to get its back foot up to push Ranger away only for Giga Strike to lumber in and release a small missile once the other Jaeger stumbled clear.

A Category II probably could have been handled by Ranger alone but Kim suspected that Zordon was letting Giga run out its days in glory instead of disregard. 

Pain instead of anger now reverberated in the monster’s cries and if Kim wasn’t intimately aware of just how many human lives had been lost at the claws of creatures like it, she may have felt something.

But she was, and she didn’t.

A practiced ebb and flow, Giga fell back and Ranger darted in to spin under Jiraiya’s claws but before Kim even had a chance to yell, an acidic tongue shot out of the beast’s mouth like a spring. The amphibian-like tongue spiraled out to slap and stick against Ranger’s chest plate. Blue saliva splattered and started to smoke against the metal and Kim’s breath caught.

Even from this far away, the flare of alarm from the boys was evident in the way Ranger tried to jerk away. The skittering movements made the powerful tower of metal suddenly seemed painfully human. The Drift tied pilots and Jaeger together as one and Kim could see panic etched into every twitch of Ranger’s nerve cables.

Jiraiya’s tongue was sticky and it pulled taught to resist their attempted escape. Blue saliva rolled off of it, dripping down in sizzling streaks over Ranger’s armor. Kim could hear Billy yelping in pain through the livestream and Ranger tried to swipe the Kaiju off and away from them but Jiraiya wrenched its head to the side hard enough to send them crashing down into the surf.

The Kaiju leapt forward but all of a sudden Giga was there- throwing herself in front of the downed Jaeger. She drove her shoulder into the Kaiju, effectively halting its charge and shoved it just far enough back to slam her spiked fist hard into Jiraiya’s gaping maw. Instead of pulling back to strike again, Giga kept plowing forward, making the Kaiju choke and splutter as she shoved her arm even farther down its throat. Kim realized what they were about to do right as it happened, and even muffled through several layers of flesh and viscera, the soundwave from Giga’s plasma cannon firing a blast _inside_ the monster still managed to blow Kim’s bangs back.

“Ha! Old Lady’s still got some fight!”

Trini pumped her fist into the air with a yell that couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than utter delight, and Kim finally realized what was going on with her. Despite the danger her friends were in, despite the choking tension between the two of them, Trini was _thrilled_.

Now that it clicked, it was obvious in every line of her body. Her eyes were lit with almost a fever pitch and the sway of her body mimicked Ranger’s footwork as the boys scrambled to their feet and danced in wary circles through the waves, making sure the Kaiju didn’t slip away from Giga while she tried to finish it off. 

And though the Jaeger pilots couldn’t hear her, she called out instructions to them anyway, “Left hand, left ha- oh goddamnit Giga, you old bucket of bolts watch its tail! For fuck’s sake, did you just trip, I saw you guys practice that move last week!”

Trini’s unexpected enthusiasm brought Kim back to a place she hadn’t realized she’d left. The past months had been filled with shame and loneliness, but all of a sudden she remembered the feeling of unfolding her crisp acceptance letter into the program and the flush of honor and duty that blossomed in its wake. 

Kim let her eyes slip closed and felt her way back to the first time she turned on the television and saw a Jaeger beating back the end of the world. Any half hearted aspirations of college applications and escaping her stifling small town went up in smoke in the time it took for a Kaiju to be slain, and out of the ashes rose the purpose her whole life must have been spooling out towards. She was going to be a pilot and she was going to fight monsters and never again could anything else could possibly matter as much as that did. 

The Jaeger program gave her life intent when she had been driftless. But somewhere between that epiphany in her living room and the disastrous simulation, Kim lost the thread of why she was doing this. She’d gotten tangled in her own relationships and stopped fighting towards the real cause. 

On the rooftop, watching behemoths battle just like she had that first time years ago, Kim’s heart beat steady and hard. She needed this. Thud. She was supposed to be here. Thud. If anyone on this base would still have her, Kim was going to be the pilot the world needed. Thud.

Kim turned to Trini and watched her mouth curve up to flash her sharp canines in response to something Zack was yelling to his copilots over the engine hum.

The Kaiju slipped under Giga’s arms and made one last quest towards the shore but Ranger dove and managed to snag its back leg in the powerful primary set of arms and drag it backwards with the smaller pair. Jiraiya was flagging and though Giga’s plasma cannon was made to cauterize, ruined guts leaking out its tattered underbelly were turning the ocean a poisonous blue.

Despite the electricity of the gory scene, Kim was finding it hard to keep her eyes on the action. She’d be watching the Kaiju one second and then the next would find her inexplicably tracing the way the dappled sunlight caught the profile of Trini’s eyelashes.

The thought struck Kim suddenly that she wouldn’t be standing here right now looking at this girl if she and Amanda had stayed partners, and she didn’t know exactly what that meant, or how she should feel about it.

The space between every breath of the last few months was spent wishing desperately that she had Amanda and Ty back, but Kim knew that the Amanda and Ty she loved did not exist anymore - not really. Their trio had been destroyed before Kim had done any destroying of her own and that at least was not her fault. No amount of apology on Kim’s end would put back together what had been broken because she hadn’t been the one to cause the first fissure.

The sprawling afternoons filled with the three of them would never be anything more than memories. And no matter how much Kim wanted it back, she knew that the jagged, swaggering duo no longer belonged to her. But now Trini was here, and Kim had no clue what to do about it. Hell, at this point she didn’t even know if she had any choice in the matter.

Her thoughts started to twist in on themselves but a yell from Trini cut through the anxious circling and Kim startled before she realized it was a sound of conquest, not fear. Trini’s voice twined with the staticky audio of Jason, Zack, and Billy bellowing in unison. 

A war cry, a triumph. Jiraiya was limp and lifeless in the shallows and Ranger’s front was covered in spatters of blue blood. Kim had missed the killing blow without even realizing.

The news helicopters hovering along the skyline like fat black flies started buzzing closer to circle around the Kaiju carcass. Together Ranger and Giga hauled it up across the beach and into an empty field where it could be picked over without doing more harm to the sea.

The bravest of the helicopters got close enough that Ranger noticed and the boys immediately threw up their arms in triumph and started posturing for its cameras. Giga just shook her great head and started the amble back to the Base.

Trini snorted and said, “Twenty bucks that’s Zack taking over right now.”

Kim shrugged and said, “I don’t know, Billy is known for making Ranger dance,” before reality caught up to her and her nerves crashed back in. She twitched backwards, away from where she and Trini had been crowded around the screen. 

Trini turned so her back was to the ocean and leaned against the railing. She was giving off her reflexive emotionless facade but Kim figured by the way her fingers were clutching at the hems of her sleeves that she was just as affected by this as Kim was.

“Why are you acting like you’re scared of me?” Trini asked after eyeing the distance between them.

It wasn’t what Kim thought she was going to say, of all things, and the surprise gave her enough of a pause to actually think about her answer.

She shrugged and toed at the cement. “I’m not _scared_. I’m just… you’re holding all the cards right now. You’re the only person who knows my entire side of the story. How close I came to getting kicked out of the program.”

Kim sighed, “After what I did I don’t deserve another partner, and I don’t expect you to overlook that. Yet I can’t help but want you to, so now I feel selfish on top of all the other shit I usually feel.” 

Trini was still looking at her and not saying anything and Kim was so goddamned nervous that she just kept talking, “I guess I want to know if you can ever forgive me, or if there’s anything that I can do to prove to you that you can trust me.”

Really, Kim couldn’t do anything at all at this point. By showing Trini her most damning memories, Kim had essentially given her a bladed choice and knelt down in front of her. It was up to Trini what she did with it. She had every right to sever this growing thing between them, but now that Kim was powerless, she realized how much she wanted Trini to absolve her.

\----------------

Trini stared at her, this complicated girl who was so full of guilt that it was spilling out of her eyes, whose head was bowed in front of her like Trini was the sort of person who had the power fix any of this.

Kim had no idea how much guilt was swimming in Trini’s own soul. If you compared the two of them, Trini would come out the coward every time. She couldn’t even face her own past, much less stay in a Base full of people who knew who she really was.

“Jesus, why do you think that I matter enough to even ask me that?” It came out sharper, more exasperated than Trini intended and Kim immediately dropped her eyes.

“It’s your choice-” Kim whispered but Trini cut her off.

“It’s not!”

“It _is_ , Trini,” Kim stressed, “Zordon made us partners! I want to do this so now you have to decide!”  
Frustration boiled in her chest. “Even if this weird power dynamic you’re trying to force here was real, it wouldn’t matter. You know I can’t Drift! _None of this matters_.”

“What does that even mean?” Kim cried as she threw up her hands.

“It means that every time I try I can’t control my own fucking memories and all I see is my town and my family being torn apart. It means that whoever tries to get into my head gets to fail at saving them along with me. It means that I can’t stop chasing the R.A.B.I.T. so I can’t form the Bridge so _I can’t Drift_.”

The words exploded out of Trini without warning and after they were said, she stood trembling in the aftermath. Kim was finally silent and her face was pinched in confusion. Trini didn’t want her to ask anything more. She clenched and unclenched her fingers and tried to breathe.

“Is your family- are they-” Kim stuttered. Trini shouldn’t have hoped she would drop it because the only thing she truly knew about this girl was she never really could leave things alone.

But surprisingly, something in Trini’s chest started to loosen as she considered answering. She’d told Zack and had felt marginally better afterwards. Maybe doing it again would help, and even better, maybe it would make Kim realize that she wasn’t the only morally compromised soldier on this Base.

“A few years ago a storm blew a Kaiju off its course and onto the shore of my small town instead. Nobody-” Trini choked, “Nobody warned them. It destroyed everything before a Jaeger could get there. A lot of people died. My-my mom died. One of my little brothers almost did. It was bad. He’s not the same.”

Trini didn’t really want to see Kim’s face so she turned her face to the water instead. Her mouth was just saying the words; she wasn’t letting herself actually think about that day. She stared at the grey waves instead and let them spur her on.

“I haven’t seen them since then. Afterwards I was… in a bad place. So when my stepfather took my brothers and moved inland, I made my way here instead. I needed to make up for what happened.” 

Kim’s brows furrowed in confusion and she said, “None of that was your fault.”

Trini shook her head. “You don’t know.” She was done talking about this.

Kim opened her mouth to say something but something in Trini’s expression made her think better of it.

Trini desperately needed to reroute the thread of this derailed conversation, so she sucked in a shaky breath and attempted to sound calm.

“Listen, Kim, all this forgiveness shit; I’m very familiar with guilt, alright? I get it, but I’m in no place to offer you forgiveness and even if I was, I can’t fix what happened between you and Amanda. I do think it’s possible to forgive yourself, though.”

Kim scoffed and started pacing across the balcony. It was a small slab of concrete and she could cross it in two strides before having to spin and start over. She said, “It’s not that simple.” 

Trini scowled back. “You want me to forgive you but asking that same thing of yourself is really that unachievable?”

“What I did was wrong! You obviously aren’t going to tell me your whole story but I do know that a Kaiju killed your people, not you.” Kim reached the other side of the balcony and stomped in agitation back Trini’s way. “But what happened with Amanda was my choice. I can’t just decide that it was okay and suddenly stop feeling bad about it.”

“Knock it off, you’re making me dizzy. I’m not saying it was okay, because it wasn’t. I’m saying you have to acknowledge it and try to move forward.” Trini grumbled but Kim continued on like she didn’t even hear her.

“The look on Amanda’s face the last time I saw her. I’ve never felt anything like that before. The repercussions of what I did hadn’t truly sunk in until then, you know? She dropped out of the program a few days after that.” Kim reached the railing and finally stopped pacing in favor of frowning into the wind and the ocean spray. “I write her letters. I don’t know if she reads them. I don’t know if it would matter if she did.” 

For a second, with her chin held high and the barest hint of the sunrise setting Kim’s face in regal profile, Trini glimpsed what Kim was like before the fall. A beat of reverence before the clouds shifted and then Kim looked exhausted all over again.

Trini didn’t have to ask then what she was thinking when she did it because Kim had let her inside of her head. She’d been able to feel the recklessness, the suffocating rage, the panic and the desire to lash out, fast, before she could be hurt again herself. Maybe Trini wouldn’t have done the same in her position but now she understood, in the truest way possible, the things that Kim had been facing off against. 

Kim had offered herself up. Nobody had ever showed Trini honesty like that before.

“Truthfully Kim, Amanda may never forgive you and beyond reaching out to her, that’s not something you can control. I think you need to work on forgiving yourself, but I recognize that’s a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black. What I am sure of, though, is that you’re drowning yourself in shame and trying to use feeling miserable as penance, but it isn’t working. The world keeps going, and it needs us to pull our heads out of the past so we can save it.” 

Trini looked down at her hands and wished so powerfully that she could do better (in the Drift, at finding the right thing to say to Kim, at every fucking thing she’d ever messed up) that it took her a moment to continue, “The Jaeger program is my way of trying to make things right inside of myself.” 

Trini looked at Kim and she suddenly felt so bare and open that she didn’t know what to do with all of the space. “Look, besides Zack, I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have a home; my family is… I don’t have anyone else. Trini trailed off and then there was a beat before she asked, “Would you do it again?”

Kim didn’t hesitate, the words burst out of her so fast she tripped over them, “No! Not- of course not! I never want to hurt anybody like that ever again, no matter what they did to me. Never.”

Trini stepped up next to Kim, made her decision, and knocked the railing twice with her knuckles. 

“Okay then. That forgiveness isn’t mine to give, but I can offer to trust you. I need you, you need me.”

Kim’s eyes widened and Trini saw a spark of hope flicker within them. “Wait, does that mean?”

“Yeah. Let’s give it a shot.”

Kim threw her head back and yelled, “YES,” so loud it made Trini jump.

“Jesus-”

Kim burst into bright, sparkling laughter and punched the air in front of her before doing it again, “YES!”

“What are you doing- Why are you yelling?”

“Because it feels good!”

Kim crouched down and searched around for a second before popping up with a plank of wood from a broken pallet that’d been tucked forgotten against the building wall. She cocked her arm back and threw it as hard as she could in the direction of Jiraiya’s carcass.

“Fuck youuuuu! Stupid fucking monsters!”

Trini blinked at her, completely baffled. Kim was somewhere between giddy and incensed and her choppy hair was a wind-tangled mess. It struck Trini all at once how goddamned beautiful she was.

“Come on, give it a shot, I promise it feels good.” Kim scooped up more wood and shoved some of it into Trini’s hands. She chucked her own piece into the water with a wordless shout.

What the hell, why not. If she was going to agree to try and Drift again with a crazy person, maybe she needed to surrender a little to the crazy herself. Trini hauled back and chucked the plank into the water and surprisingly, it did feel good. Kim prodded her arm with another piece and Trini threw that one without prompting. 

“Now yell this time,” Kim grinned.

Trini obliged.

“Go back to hell you dickhead!” Her wood fell far short of the dead Kaiju but the burn of her muscles and the stretch of her lungs made up for it. It should have been embarrassing, but Kim was still smiling at her and Trini found that it absolutely wasn’t. 

She hurled another piece, and then another until both of them were roaring at the top of their lungs.

“We’re going to kick your asses!”

“Murderers! I’ll show you how it feels!”

“We’re coming for you!”

When her hand was empty Kim was already there, handing her something else to throw. They weren’t in the Kwoon Room but nevertheless, Trini felt compatibility sparking between them as they screamed their injustices together into the waiting air.

When they couldn’t pry any more loose ammunition off the pallet, Kim hefted the remnants onto her shoulder and heaved it over the edge, too. It made a satisfying crash against the rocks and as the echoes faded, the manic mood they’d shared started to ebb along with them.

They slumped down shoulder to shoulder against the door and after awhile Kim asked in a voice hoarse from yelling, “So, are you going to tell me why you think what happened to your town was your fault?”

“Probably not,” Trini shrugged and Kim’s face fell, but she continued, “I’m going to try and show you, though.”

Kim grinned a savage sort of grin and hissed, “Fuck yeah. We’re going to Drift. I know we can.”

Trini still felt a little bit raw, but she wasn’t wary of Kim anymore. She might not agree with the other girl’s choices but she understood how they were made. All Trini could hope for was that Kim could offer her the same when it came down to it.

They sat there as the sun rose to take its place above them. They talked a little bit but mostly they let the day curl around them without trying to wrestle any more meaning out of it. Kim must’ve slept even less than Trini the night before because after awhile her head started nodding and Trini got a good look at the purple bruising under her eyes.

Trini waited until she was completely passed out before crouching and pulling Kim onto her back. Kim murmured something unintelligible but when Trini shushed her she tucked her forehead back against Trini’s neck, trusting her. As she carried her back to their room, Trini realized that despite it all, she was starting to trust Kim too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *taps mic* is this thing still on? Anybody still here?
> 
> Don't blame y'all if you aren't. I had some intense writers block on how to nail down Trimberly's talk but I'm finally happy with it (a million years later, my bad). Now we can finally get to some Drifting! Hell yeah!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the paths that had brought her to this. She wouldn’t walk them again, not if she had the chance for a do over. But maybe it was okay to hope that she would have found her way here anyway, by a different route.

Kim knew she was dragging her feet on this - somewhat literally, she thought as her sneakers scuffed against the asphalt, but she couldn’t help it. Meeting people used to be enjoyable; new fun- relationships to be made, but now she felt uneasy.

“They’re not going to bite, Kim.” 

Trini turned so she was walking backwards, matching Kim’s footsteps in reverse. The streetlamps gave off a tinny glow that reflected off the greasy sidewalk and the nighttime air gave Kim a little breathing room that she never seemed to get at the Base. Which was good, because she needed it right now.

Kim shrugged and the teasing tilt of Trini’s lips dipped into concern. Other people hadn’t really been good to her, since Amanda left. Because she’d brought it down upon herself, Kim felt bad about feeling bad about it. But yesterday Trini had told her that feeling miserable to try and punish herself for her mistakes wasn’t helping anyone, and hearing someone else say it out loud made Kim realize that there may have been some truth in it.

Before all of this, Kim wasn’t the type to put her head down and shoulder penance very well. But it’s what she’d been doing for months, even as the submission grated and chipped away at her. She’d become well practiced at averting her eyes and ears against the jeering and the whispers and the hateful messages scrawled on notebook paper and shoved under her door.

So yeah, people didn’t like Kim much these days. But it didn’t stop that ravenous need inside of her to be liked, and that part of her continued to strain forward despite the hurt. It gnawed relentlessly at her at her even now.

Kim’s job was to be a solider and her goal was to be a pilot and it shouldn’t matter if every single person on Base hated her guts because her job didn’t depend on the opinions of the many. She knew that, but it didn’t make her chest ache any less, which meant that Kim wasn’t exactly looking forward to meeting Trini’s friends.

Trini stopped walking and held up her hand to bring Kim to a halt. “Hey, hold up. What’s got you so freaked?”

Kim opened her mouth, closed it, and shrugged again. “I don’t know. I want them to like me, I guess.”

She wanted _Trini_ to like her. Kim wished that they weren’t standing on different slabs of the sidewalk. She wanted to step over the crack and the little dandelion weed that was growing up between them. There was a frightening second in which Kim thought she actually felt tears prickling up, but she scowled hard enough to frighten them off.

Trini cocked her head and studied her for moment and Kim thought she might say something about her expression, but instead she kept on topic and said, “Okay first of all, they will. Billy and Jason are good guys. Zack’s an idiot but he’s not too bad, so you two actually have some stuff in common.”

Kim blinked and then, “Hey!”

Trini laughed, a big open-mouthed laugh and Kim’s heart started _beating_ , and Trini continued over its cacophony, “And secondly, it doesn’t matter if they like you or not. It doesn’t matter if anyone else does. Only me.”

Kim could actually feel her cheeks flushing - heat blooming up from nowhere, trapped under her skin. She ducked her head and started walking again, bumping Trini’s shoulder so that she spun and fell into step with her in hope that if they got out from under the streetlamp that it would be too dark for Trini to notice.

“Is that so?” Kim said. Her voice sounded a bit strangled. 

Trini didn’t seem to notice. “Yup, just me. I’m the only partner you’re going to get, or did you forget what Zordon said? You don’t really have any other options.”

Kim knew in that moment that even if she had the choice of any of the Trainees, she wouldn’t switch. Hell, she knew it yesterday when she half woke up with her face smushed against Trini’s shoulder, swaying a little with Trini’s gait as she carried her back to their room.

All the paths that had brought her to this. She wouldn’t walk them again, not if she had the chance for a do over. But maybe it was okay to hope that she would have found her way here anyway, by a different route.

Kim huffed and reached forward to open the door to the discrete dive bar, tucked away in a corner of Angel City where nobody would recognize Ranger Triton’s famed pilots. “Oh, believe me. I know.”

\-----------

The first thing that Kim noticed was that the boys were _hot_. Like, damn. Of course she’d seen them around the Base and on television, but up close and personal offered a very high definition view indeed. They were all crammed into one side of a booth in the back corner, and Kim thought at first that they were just anticipating Kim and Trini’s arrival. But as she took in Zack’s arm thrown casually over Jason’s shoulder and the way his knuckles just brushed the collar of Billy’s shirt, Kim though instead that maybe they just wanted to be close to one another. 

Billy’s smile when they walked up was so toothy that Kim grinned right back at him. Zack jumped to his feet with an easy athleticism to shake her hand.

“Hey, nice to meet you! Trini talks about you pretty much constantly,” Zack said with a mischievous smile that meant he knew he was about to get yelled at. 

“Zack! Jesus dude,” Trini yelped out, right on cue.

“What? Like the last three times I’ve seen you, at least-”

“I swear I’m going to-”

Jason shot a look at Kim and rolled his eyes, and a slip of solidarity blossomed in its wake. Kim was immediately grateful to him. He slid out of the booth to shake her hand and said, “Hi Kim, I’m Jason and this,” he gestured over his shoulder, “is Billy.”

Billy waved a little bit and said, “Hi Kim. I’m not going to shake your hand if that’s alright with you.”

Trini had given her a quick briefing on the way over so she didn’t miss a beat saying, “No problem man, it’s nice to meet you.”

A loud cackle from Zack drew their attention. Trini hard an arm looped across the back of his neck to drag him down to her level and she was trying hard to mess up his perfectly spiked hair with her other hand. This was the first time Kim had seen Trini interact with her ex-copilot and it wasn’t quite what she had expected. The only other person she saw Trini engage with on a regular basis was Diana, and that was a relationship built on respect and mentorship.

Trini’s interactions with Zack looked more like two wild things fighting over a scrap that’d been forgotten in the wake of the skirmish. Zack squirmed out of Trini’s hold and bent low like he was about to hoist her over his shoulder but Jason swiftly interjected his shoulder in between them. Trini poked her head out from under his arm and stuck her tongue out at Zack in such a blatantly childish way that Kim couldn’t help but chuckle. New perspective, indeed.

“You guys know the point of coming here to celebrate was to not draw attention to ourselves, right?” Jason asked, wryly.

Zack straightened and offered him an overly crisp salute and a ‘Yessir’ before slouching back into the booth seat. Trini flagged down a waitress and within a few minutes they were toasting to Ranger’s success earlier that morning.

An hour or two passed easily and it was fun in the way that things are fun when you don’t know someone well but like them nonetheless. Kim found herself reveling in the nearly forgotten charm of getting to know someone for the first time.

“It’s weird right?” Jason asked, bringing Kim’s attention back to him and the game he and Zack were playing. Jason’s skin was bright from the drinks and his hair was tousled in the back and Kim thought that in another timeline _maybe_ , but here she simply settled more comfortably into her seat and acknowledged the possibility while simultaneously letting it slip gently past her. 

Zack initiated the game again and Jason tapped his fist obediently three times against the table before throwing a sign with his fingers. It had started out as simple rock paper scissors but they’d started adding more gestures into the mix and despite all odds they still matched each other’s throw every time.

“Very weird,” Kim said and leaned closer as if she could someone discern the secret if she squinted harder.

“A statistically significant trend actually,” Billy piped up without looking away from the diagram he and Trini were scribbling onto a napkin. Trini pointed wordlessly at one of the numbers and Billy looked at it for a moment before nodding in agreement and scratching it out to replace it with a different one.

The movement of Trini’s arm sent little waves of sensation through Kim’s shoulder where they were pressed together. She didn’t really know who had scooted closer to who over the course of the evening, but Trini didn’t seem uncomfortable with the way their thighs lined up against the cracked upholstery so Kim was content to stay where she was.

“You have to be cheating somehow,” Kim groaned when the pilots shot out simultaneous finger guns at one another before bursting into laughter.

It was Zack who finally took pity on her and said, “It’s the Drift. Sometimes it lingers.”

“Really? But you haven’t been connected for hours,” Kim said.

Billy finally looked up and stated quite seriously, “We’re always connected.”

Honestly, if the boy wasn’t so damned sincere he might ring as sort of creepy, but Kim didn’t let that divert her attention. “That doesn’t make sense; the Drift ends when the pilots pull out or the connection is terminated.”

Trini was still looking down at the drawing but Kim could tell by the sudden tensing of her muscles where her attention was truly lying. 

Jason shook his head, “Not always. It’s called Ghost Drifting. It’s sort of a muted extension of the actual Drift.”

“Imagine you’re covered with something sticky, say honey,” Zack interjected, seamlessly taking over the explanation, “and you hug someone. While you’re hugging, the honey sticks you together. That’s the Drift. But when you pull apart, some of it stretches between you and stays intact. Not with nearly as much contact as the actual Drift, but enough so that you can still sense things about your partner.”

Kim leaned forward, fascinated, “Can you speak to each other through it?”

Jason shrugged, “Sometimes I’ll hear a word, but more often its just a feeling or a quick image. It’s stronger when we’re touching. You never felt that with Ama- with your last partner?”

Kim ignored Jason’s stumble as best she could and tried to remember feeling anything like what they’d described.

“Maybe. Some emotional transfer? But if it was, it was subtle enough that I didn’t even realize it was happening. I never got any images though.”

“Does it fade?” Trini’s voice was carefully composed, but Kim could sense roughness below the surface. She tried to catch Trini’s eye but the other girl was staring at Zack’s fingers drumming restlessly against the table top. It was obvious to Kim that she missed him, but there was definitely pain there. If Trini and Zack truly had not been able to complete a Drift, she never would’ve felt this Ghost Drift phenomenon.

“I’m not sure,” Billy answered, oblivious to her unease, “Every time you Drift together it gets stronger, and we run drills almost every other day. So it might fade with disuse, but I haven’t been able to collect any firsthand observations.”

Trini’s shoulders hunched in, just a little bit, and it made Kim wonder if the loss of a potential had the ability to sting in a very different way than the loss she’d experienced. She wanted to say something but didn’t know what and the window quickly closed. Zack rapped his knuckles once more against the wood and stood up.

“Bet I can still kick your ass at darts, T.”

Trini perked up, rearranged her posture so it was like she’d never been anything more than a half-drunk kid lounging at a table with her friends and retorted, “Yeah right. You’ve never once in your life beat me, and you never will.”

Kim shuffled out of the booth so Trini could escape and she watched them go, feeling as though she failed at something.

Jason clapped a hand on her shoulder and she startled. He smiled at her, a little sadly, and said, “Hey. Don’t stress too much about those two. It’s something they’re working through; there’s not much we can do.”

Kim nodded, but she couldn’t help that her attention kept snagging on Trini and Zack for the rest of their dart game. At the beginning of the night Kim’s impression of Zack was good, but unfamiliar. He was tall and relaxed where Trini was coiled tight, loud where she was stony. She couldn’t figure out why Zack would be compatible with her, at least on the surface, and honestly Kim was hard pressed to find any similarities at all between him and Trini.

It was only when they came back to join the the table and she caught Trini tapping wordlessly on Zack’s arm and him seamlessly understanding and launching into a distracting story long enough for Trini to swipe some of Jason’s French fries, that she remembered compatibility wasn’t about similarity. It was about two people coming together and offering themselves up to accomplish something more. They didn’t have to be the same. They just had to be willing to listen.

As they all walked back to the Base together, some of them stumbling more than walking, Kim couldn’t help but feel a little bit happy. Ranger Triton’s pilots were good men. It was obvious in the way they talked to each other and how easily they were able to open their own relationships to usher Trini and Kim into the rapport. Zack was laughing loudly and hooting into the crisp night air and Jason groaned at whatever joke he’d tried to make. Zack nudged at Trini for support and she swatted him away before succumbing and joining his laughter.

Something that had been nagging at her finally settled. Whatever had happened between them, Zack hadn’t done anything to scare Trini off the Drift. That also meant that switching partners wasn’t going to be a quick fix, but Kim was ready for that challenge. For now, she was relieved that Trini’s distrust of other people wasn’t because she’d been burned by the last person allowed inside her head. Maybe Kim was being ridiculous even imagining that Zack would do something like she had done.

When they were only a few blocks away from their destination Zack started lagging behind the group. Kim glanced back to check on him and he caught her eye and jerked his chin in summons.

Kim slowed to match his pace and Zack ducked his head so he could lean in close. All of his clowning suddenly fell away like it never existed and Kim glimpsed for a second what a formidable soldier he could be.

“Just listen, okay?” He spoke quick and clipped so nobody would realize they were behind, “You have to make her stay. They tell us to brush by them; don’t get stuck, don’t chase. But she can’t help it, so you have to keep her from running. I think if she just stayed one time… She can’t do it by herself and I-” The lines of Zack’s face deepen with regret and something that looked suspiciously close to shame, “For some reason, I wasn’t enough.”

“I don’t- I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Zack gripped her elbow and hissed, “The Drift, Kim. Trini chases the R.A.B.I.T. Then she pulls out of the Drift before the memory can play out. It’s the same one every time and I think that means she needs to face it. If you can’t get her to do that then I think you two are going to end up the same way we did.”

In failure. Fractured, split apart. He didn’t need to say it and Kim was already well acquainted with the phenomenon, so she didn’t feel the need to imagine the scenario.

She pulled her arm out of Zack’s grasp and offered him her hand instead. “You know that I can’t promise I’ll be able to. But I can say that I’ll try.”

He appraised her for a few more moments and then clasped her hand. 

“Good luck, Kim.”

She could tell that he meant it. Despite what Diana believed, Kim wasn’t a good person. She wasn’t like Zack or Jason or Billy. But maybe Trini didn’t need a good person. Maybe someone who’d been through a storm before could help her ride out her own. Kim was hoping that she didn’t need to be good; she just needed to be enough.

\---------------------------

Trini didn’t mean to fall asleep, but Kim when padded behind her into their bedroom with footsteps that’d become familiar (a little loud but with a meandering cadence) she let her guard slip.

The hazy beer-warmth and Kim’s soft disjointed humming faded into the rush swish of waves against stones. Almost instantly the dream shuddered and rearranged itself into wood splinters under her fingernails. Warning sirens that had only ever been tested at noon on the first Wednesday of every month whined so ceaselessly that they almost drowned out the cries. People trapped under rubble, in their flattened cars, laying in what used to be their kitchens or their bedrooms, screaming and sobbing and begging _pleading_ for someone to please help them.

Trini ground her forehead against the wood and yelled too because she couldn’t help them. She couldn’t even make herself let go of the goddamned pole. The roaring and the sirens and the people were so loud she couldn’t hear herself, and the only way she knew she was even making noise was the shredded feeling in her throat.

One yell in particular stood out; someone calling for her. Mom? No, at this point in the attack she was already gone, there was no way-

“Trini! Trini, hey,” said the voice and then all of a sudden Trini wasn’t gripping a telephone pole. She was on her stomach with her head buried under her hands in the earthquake position she’d learned as a primary school student. Someone was pulling at them and even though Trini was awake the still-present nightmare fear clenched her arms tight around her ears.

Fucking earthquakes. She’d grown up on the coast near a fault line and nobody would shut up about the dangers of plates shifting and buildings collapsing. Get under a table, cover your head, don’t breathe in the dust. Monsters were silly kid fantasies, but by god you better know how to deal with an earthquake.

So was it really her fault that she hadn’t prepared for monsters? Nobody told her what it would feel like to watch a demon bigger than anything she’d ever seen before lurch towards her. None of the drills or videos mentioned the chest-freezing stillness of the moment you realized you were going to die.

But right now wasn’t that moment, so Trini let Kim finally pluck her hands away.

“Are you awake?” she whispered, but Trini’s ears were ringing and she realized that reason the silence of the room felt so abrupt was probably because she’d been shouting in her sleep. Embarrassment wobbled in her gut. She slowly pushed herself up onto her elbows and ignored Kim’s attempts to try and meet her eyes.

Kim blew out a puff of air to clear her bangs off her forehead and then shifted so that she was sitting next to Trini. They both stared at the wall over Kim’s bed for a few silent minutes. Trini too embarrassed to say anything and Kim just waiting, with her hands folded gently in her lap. 

The quiet was nice for a few minutes while Trini got her breath back and woke the rest of the way up. When it started to stretch, Kim nudged her and asked, “Want to watch TV? Our meeting with Alpha isn’t for a few hours yet.”

Trini sighed and pushed at Kim until she stood up, then gathered her comforter and pillow up in her arms and headed towards the living room. “Yeah. I wanna watch House Hunters.”

Kim groaned behind her like Trini knew she would and said, “Dude come on, I hate HGTV, you know this.”

Trini flapped her hand in Kim’s general direction and answered, “Hey, I had a shitty dream, you have to be nice to me. Base rules.”

Her throat still hurt and her hands were shaking, but not being pushed at to talk about it was nice. It was as if they’d reached an unspoken realization that Kim would either experience it in the Drift, or if not, the dream wouldn’t really matter anyway because failure meant they’d probably never see each other again.

After two episodes Trini slouched down sideways so that her head was next to Kim’s thigh on the couch. Once the third episode ended and Property Brothers came on, Kim tentatively reached down and tucked a piece of Trini’s hair back. A little sigh worked its way out before Trini could stop it, the aftermath of a flutter in her chest, and Kim seemed to take it as a go-ahead to start winding her fingers through Trini’s hair.

They did not touch like this, ever. Not with intention. The wrestled in the Kwoon room, maybe placed a hand on a shoulder as one bent around the other to grab toothpaste, or a pan as they made dinner. But they did not lay together. Kim hadn’t ever hugged Trini. Wasn’t that so odd? They were supposed to bare their entire heads to each other tomorrow, and besides the piggyback ride yesterday, they hadn’t even been in physical contact with each other for more than a few minutes. 

“Are you okay?” Kim asked her quietly.

Trini closed her eyes and let the feeling of Kim’s nails scratching lightly against her scalp settle less precariously in her chest. 

It took her a moment to chew over the question. She shrugged as best one could shrug while laying on their side on a couch too small for two people.

“I mean… no - if you want me to be honest here - not really.” Trini hesitated before saying what she said next, because peeling herself off her hard-guarded secrets was never easy. “I’m scared.”

But Kim said it as easily as exhaling a sigh, like she had admitted it to herself and made peace with it a long time ago, “Me too.” Then, “What are you scared of?”

Trini pressed the crown of her head into Kim’s palm until she started tugging through Trini’s hair again, and for some reason it made it a little easier for her to answer.

“Remembering, I guess. I try not to, ever. I don’t want to watch my family get torn apart over and over again because of my screw up. But I know I’m going to- it’s what always happens when I try to start the Drift.”

There really was no easy solution to the problem and they both knew it. It wasn’t something to be out-smarted or skirted around. Kim had been playing with her hair until that point, but she stilled. The silence after Trini’s statement grew, and in it Trini heard something like an accusation- but no, it didn’t feel like blaming. It was more of an unspoken statement; that at this point in all of it, even if it was the hardest thing she’d ever do - if Trini could not be brave, then everything they both hoped to accomplish would be lost.

Could you lose something if you never really had it in the first place? Trini wondered.

But in a way, Trini was already a pilot, at least in name. She’d had the training, passed the clearances. Her trainers and commander were waving her forward. The door to the cockpit was swung open, and the only thing left for her to do was to get in. Her own will shouldn’t be an obstacle, but for her it was the greatest thing she had to overcome in all of this.

It wasn’t even something she had to do alone though, she thought, and the empty cockpit in her mind changed so that it wasn’t empty. Kim stood on the right, already in her drivesuit. She reached out for Trini as their Jaeger began to stretch and roll her joints, getting ready and purring underneath them. All Trini had to do was climb in.

“I’m not going to force you to do this and see something you don’t want to see,” Kim said, jarring her out of her musings, “Hell, I’m not even going to ask you to try if you don’t want to. I don’t think Drifting can even be done if one half is unwilling. But just for the record, I’m here with you. We can face this. And once we do, we can be the pilots we were both meant to be.”

Maybe Trini had never really believed she could be perfectly connected to someone without the Drift. But laying on the couch, with a girl she didn’t really know but was starting to understand, Trini did feel connected. For a few heartbeats, she felt okay. Rebuilding the past might not be possible, but building something completely different was looking like an option that she hadn’t known to consider.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Trini propped herself up into a sitting position and pulled Kim into a clumsy hug. The other girl actually startled a little bit in surprise and it made Trini laugh. Then Kim caught on and slung an arm around Trini’s shoulders and squeezed her, laughing too.

\--------------------------

The Base was strangely quiet. Graduation day for their round of Trainees had come and gone the day before. Pilots paired off and shipped all over the world. Science and Engineering and Biology interns sent to labs to become the new leading minds. A day of celebration for the fight for the future, one Kim felt distinctly separate from. She always imagined that on this day she’d be hopping on a plane and fretting the entire flight over the transfer of her newly painted Jaeger to whatever Base needed their help. The best laid plans and whatnot, she supposed.

In reality, Kim was waiting outside an office door again. Except this time Trini was hovering at her shoulder instead of being already inside. Alpha’s door was also far less imposing than Commander Zordon’s.

Trini jostled her and whispered, “Just knock.”

Kim elbowed her back and hissed, “Why do I have to knock, why don’t you knock?”

“Trainees!” A cheerful voice piped up right in Kim’s ear, making her squawk in alarm and jerk away. Trini grabbed the collar of her jumpsuit and hauled her back into place before she could take more than a few steps.

“Afternoon, Alpha,” Trini said politely. Then she rolled her eyes at Kim as she self-consciously smoothed her now-wrinkled jumpsuit.

“Good afternoon to you both as well,” Alpha said as he ushered them into his office, “I’ve been eagerly awaiting this meeting! From the progress updates I’ve been getting, it’s high time you both start taking the next steps.” What he didn’t need to say, _Zordon is getting impatient_ , rang clearly enough.

“Your health checks came through?” Alpha asked. He adjusted his glasses and started shuffling through the lopsided piles of paper on his desk.

“Yes sir. We’ve both been cleared.”

“Excellent! Well, Diana and the other Training Masters have been very complimentary in terms of your progress. So with that, I’m happy to allow you access to a private Simulator. If you could just give me your ID cards please, I’ll add you into the entry system.”

Kim looked at Trini who was already quirking up an eyebrow at her. Interesting.

“A private Sim?” Kim asked.

“Correct; one that’s better calibrated. The Trainee Simulators can be a little rough for the wear after being abused all year.” Alpha set down his papers and looked at them through his glasses, “Despite the Commander’s… slightly abrasive attitude, be assured that he and the rest of the staff here are invested in this. Exceptions aren’t often made and we would very much like for you two to succeed.”

Despite their reassuring tone Kim could sense Trini’s nerves bristling back up at Alpha’s words, so she knocked lightly on Alpha’s desk to bring his attention fully to her. “Sounds fantastic Alpha, thank you. When will the access request go through?”

“As soon as I type in these codes—aaaand here we go. All set.” Alpha mumbled as he scanned their badges and typed something out on his keyboard.

Trini audibly swallowed and asked in a slightly strained voice, “Right now? Already?”

“Affirmative,” Alpha said and he popped back to his feet. “Regrettably I have to send you off now; I still need to coordinate flights and reports for this afternoon. I wish you the best of luck. I’ll be watching.” Then he shooed them back out through the doorway and was gone in a bustling whirl of paper and a wave thrown over his shoulder.

Out in the hallway again, only a few minutes after they’d gone in, Kim shuffled her feet uncertainly. Trini looked pale. 

“Uh, so do you want to grab food or go for a run or something? We don’t have to do this like right this second.” 

Trini shook her head, determination settling in every angle of her face, “Nope. Right now. Let’s fucking do this.”

Kim grinned at her and stretched out her hand, “Get it over with?”

“Get it over with,” Trini agreed, slapping her palm against Kim’s and sliding her fingers away. It was game time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Yo girl, didn't you say they were going to finally Drift in this chapter?" Yeah uhhhh, my bad my bad. 100% promise these chicks are gonna give it a shot next time. I just wanted to give you guys something as soon as I could.
> 
> Also neat little shoutout to tumblr user bluearrow126 for making a great graphic that I only saw because another commenter mentioned it. Thank you! Y'all should let me know when you make things- i had no clue!

**Author's Note:**

> Who should not have started another multi-chap fic? This girl! 
> 
> It's cool, it's cool. I loveeee Pacific Rim so behold this weird giant robot mashup! 
> 
> Comments make me write faster, it's science ;)


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